by Norma Blair

Created on: August 13, 2008

My past wasn't all that great. See I was raped and malested from the age of 4 till I was about 16 years old by a family member. I was too scared to tell someone, anyone because it was a family member, and I was afraid that no one would belive me. Then I finally did it killed me so badly to do so, after I told I was placed in a foster home till I was 18 years old. Also my mom was no help to me at all till this day she doesn't belive that it had happened to me. Then When I turned 18 years old I moved out of the foster home and moved in with my boyfriend and his family. I was aslo beaten up and abused alot by my ex's and was almost killed by one of them.

Everytime I try to move on with my life something happens, and reminds me about the past. See I hate to fight ( argue ) with people it scares the livin daylights out of me because of what the out come might be. I'm only 18 years old, alot of things has happened to me that shouldn't of. Now that I have a son on the way it scares me, because of my past, because of my past its hard for me to love and open up to other people, and it's even more hard to talk to my boyfriend ( father of my unborn son ). Everytime I try to talk to him I choke up and then I change the subject and its the same way when he tries to talk to me.

My past has controlled me for a very long time. I don't like to be like this at all, it seems like no matter how hard I try to move on something goes wrong, and brings me back to rock bottom. I've seen many psychatrists to help me, but there was no use. I've been scarred for life! One thing that really gets me is people tell me to get over it but they don't realize how hard that is to do. Everything is usually easier said then done and most of the time thats true, but in my case not that easy! I know I'm not the only one that this stuff has happened to.
I think it's harder for females to 4get the past than males, because males don't have as much emotions as us females do. Males seem like they just don't care, but us females do care. Our past will always haunt us till the day we die. That's just point blank.

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