by Roz Romero

Created on: August 13, 2008   Last Updated: October 19, 2011

It is true to say that parents of children with developmentally disabilities experience the same highs and lows as parents of typically developing children. It is also true to say that these parents also face unique burdens of body, mind and soul, requiring incredible strength and fortitude in amounts quite unfamiliar to their counterparts. I know this, because I am one of these parents - proud mom of Thomas, Nicholas and Cynthia.

The interesting paradox of raising a child with special needs is that while the child needs you in incredibly demanding ways, the child also teaches you how to live simply. In short, things that once held great value or importance, just seemed to fade away over time. Life became more focused and purposeful because of them.

In the early years, the children's high needs and seemingly unending demands at times required tapping into hidden reservoirs of faith and determination I didn't know I had just to persevere through the more challenging times. Much like an Olympic sprinter on his last leg in a race, just when we'd hit that proverbial "wall" as a parent, as we all do, like a miracle out of nowhere comes the strength needed to carry on and cross the finish line. For me, there were days that the finish line was bedtime in the early days of my kids' lives. As children on the Autism Spectrum, a favorite past time of theirs was to learn a word and repeat it endlessly, while simultaneously banging a drum! Let me tell you, this is not a soothing sound! My salvation was in establishing a orderly and routine bedtime schedule. From sheer persistence and, I'll admit, selfishly driven necessity, my kids learned through strict conditioning, how to go to bed at the designated hour of 8 p.m., by God! I know several parents of "normal" kids who still suffer battles of biblical proportions over bedtime!

These days, as the children enter puberty and we're left to decide how to explain the facts of life, we find ourselves in unfamiliar and daunting territory. Too much information or too little information is hard to gauge at this point. Resources to help us figure it all out are limited. This I would call a problem.

Practically speaking, just about all manner of normal family experiences are different for us and lend special problems and unique and unpredictable challenges. Things like holidays and vacations do not always allow us to capture a perfect greeting card picture that many families enjoy. Trips to unfamiliar places can be disastrous because

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