by Ellie Tat

Created on: August 13, 2008   Last Updated: December 04, 2010

Children are born with little understanding of the world around them. They know when they are hungry, tired or scared, but they do not have the knowledge and skills to keep themselves safe, live by the rules of a society and interact with others. Boundaries are part of the learning process and parents should set boundaries for their children to give them the best start in life.

From very young age boundaries are important to ensure your child's safety. For example, toddlers should be taught not to run on the road and not to play with knives. You cannot yet rely just on your child's compliance at this age, but their knowledge of what is expected of them will give them added protection, as well as a few spare seconds in case they are considering testing the boundaries. As they grow older, it is only sensible to introduce more boundaries to keep your children safe.

Boundaries give children security. Setting limits makes their world look more organized and predictable. They would know what to expect and when, thus, gaining some sense of control and confidence that they can manage.

Boundaries help instill healthy habits. Even adults find it easy to get addicted to junk food or TV and children are much more vulnerable. It is important to set limits in these areas in order to teach your children how to eat healthy and stay active.

Through boundaries children learn how to treat others and what to expect from other people. From the very basic knowledge that you should not hit a playmate to get the toy you want to the ability to co-operate even when things do not go to your liking, social skills learned through boundaries will be invaluable in their school, work and social environment.

Life skills like overcoming difficulties, taking responsibility for your actions and delaying gratification are also best learned through boundaries. Having to deal with disappointment in a safe and supportive family surroundings will prepare children for the later lessons in life, which will not necessarily be given in the same loving and forgiving fashion.

On a selfish note, parents need to set boundaries to make their lives manageable. You may somehow survive a boundary-free life with one child (although it would not be easy), but imagine having three children, each wanting their own thing and wanting it now. And you would still need to make a living, do the housework, not to mention taking some time for yourself. Why would anyone even attempt this kind of life?

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