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Yes, being a mother, especially to very young children, can spell the end of writing, depending on how creative you really are. Children can pull and pull at you until you find yourself so-and-so's MOTHER, rather than Sally, writer, Mary, artist or whoever you were before. It's very easy to fall into the motherhood all or nothing mentality. But it isn't healthy for you or the kids. Because I am a bit low in the creativity area, I have only come up with a few ways a mother can get anything done, let alone write.

Young children are very needy, of course. Mothers have to tend to them 24/7 especially when they are infants. It's pretty hard to multi-task while breastfeeding, changing and doing laundry. Then there is the extra cleaning, bathing, and entertaining involved. As they get a bit older, they need supervision so as not to get into mischief, your purse or the toilet. Soon, it's your attention they crave no matter what they have to do to get it, good or bad. Did I mention potty training, doctor's visits, and birthday parties? So, in terms of a child's needs it's near impossible to write.

Being a mother can be all consuming for some. They choose to give up careers, friends, and even their previous role as a wife or mother, just to make sure the kids have a great life. It can become almost an obsession with some mothers. These are women who feel they must sacrifice everything (or at least do other things halfway) to be great moms. Of course, these moms wouldn't take time out to write, either.

When I bluntly explain things like this, it's easy to see from the outside that it isn't healthy for the mom or the kids to be so interdependent. The mom, an adult, needs to actually out herself first, at least sometimes. This will refresh her for her kids. It will also teach her kids to take care of themselves first. Having a burned out mom is no fun.

Unfortunately, I voted "yes" that motherhood really does spell the end of writing because in my experience I have only come up with five ways for a mom to get anything done and they aren't great:

1) Hire someone else to do it. OK, this may not apply to writing, but you get my drift.

2) Pay a babysitter. This is not an option for a surprisingly large number of moms, due to financial or other issues. Besides, have you ever heard of someone hiring a sitter so they can write? Maybe if you're Nora Roberts and it's WORK.

3) Use the TV as a babysitter. How do you think I am writing this? Thank you, Barney.

4) Don't sleep. Many moms do this and it isn't healthy.

5) Let the baby cry. My least favorite, but sometimes a mom has to go to the bathroom.

I suppose there are some other more creative ideas out there on the "no" side and I will surely read them. Maybe I can get some sleep then.

Learn more about this author, Maggie Madison.
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