by J Mock

Created on: August 12, 2008

You love them, but you cannot live with them! The time in a relationship when it becomes apparent that you need to break free, even if you still harbor feelings for that significant other.

You may not be able to imagine any future without this person in your life, but there becomes a point where a decision has to be made. Do you stay with this person and continue living as a couple, even though your mind is plagued with reoccurring doubts, or do you stand firm and accept that you truly cannot continue living in this manner?

At which point do you begin questioning the actions and events within your own relationship? When you love someone, you accept them as they are. We all have our own flaws, our untidy habits, but this defines who we are, it makes us unique. It is one of the reasons that we love this individual.

But certain occurrences alter our thoughts and can make us realize that our current relationship is not necessarily one that we should be continue to be involved within.

The signs of a ''bad'' relationship, are often clearly visible to persons ''outside'' of the relationship, but are all to often ignored by either one, or both parties, involved.

How often do we hear close friends, or family members tell us that our partner is ''not right'' for us? or 'you could do better.'' We hear their words, but dismiss them. Our answers are straight and clear in the mind; ''You do not understand him/her? or ''He/She has an emotional side that you do not see.'' This may be true, but is there any meaning to these opinions.

Do you wake in the morning, and feel uneasy at what the day may bring? We should not have to fall asleep at night or awake in the morning with a nervous feeling of how our partner will act.

Do you fear their response after you have made an error of judgment, and does this leave you feeling threatened with physical or mental abuse? We should be able to voice our concerns and own up to our mistakes with offerings of comfort, not of reprisals.

Are you made to feel unworthy or inadequate, alone as a couple, or amongst others? We need to feel respected, not merely part of the furniture. We should have an equal opinion in all aspects of our lives and be able to divulge how 'we' are feeling, and to know that our voice is heard.

If you can answer ''yes'' truthfully to any of these points, and your mind conjures up thoughts of past scenarios, then maybe this is the time to take a serious view of your relationship.

Perhaps you can talk this through with your partner, and reach an agreement for you both to re-evaluate your commitment to each other. It can be a simple case of ''being in a rut'' or a set routine, where you simply have not realized the state of your relationship.

But there is a line between ''loving'' and accepting a partner, and a period when this line is crossed and all your time together, both in the present and the predicted future, will only encompass a segment of unhappiness.

Remember, you are person, an individual, and you deserve to be loved and treated as one, with all your faults and unique mannerisms included. If you can guarantee ''unconditional'' love in an equal relationship, then maybe this is the time to go your separate ways.

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