by Megan Steele

Created on: August 12, 2008

If I recall correctly, it takes two to make a baby. I'm pretty sure that's right, since I have a son and I didn't grow him on my own. Fathers have just as much responsibility for a child's existence as mothers. I know there are lots of feminists out there who will say that women have the right to raise children on their own, we don't need men, blah, blah, blah. We may not need men to raise children, but children need men for balance, structure and discipline. God knows, as much as I love my son, he would be a horrible little monster without my husband around to help balance me out discipline wise. And for the record, to the best of my knowledge, feminism started as a fight for equal pay and opportunity in the workplace, not as the forum for man bashing it has become today.

I believe that men who don't want children should keep their pants on. All birth control fails sometimes. Every single form, including (rarely, but it does happen) vasectomies and even tubal ligations. A man who wants to "opt out" of parenthood isn't really a man. He's a boy. An irresponsible boy at that. If he chooses to have nothing to do with the child timewise, I say take as much money from him as you can get, or give the child up for adoption to a two parent household. In these days of taking the easy way out of everything, not taking personal responsibility for anything and placing blame everywhere but where it truly belongs, why are we even considering another opportunity for irresponsible, immature behavior? That's awfully hypocritical of me, considering I got knocked up out of wedlock, but "opting out" wasn't an option for me.

Is it fair to force a man to take responsibility for a child he doesn't want? No, it's not. But is it fair to a defenseless, helpless baby to suffer financially and emotionally because his/her sperm donor doesn't want to be a parent? Did the baby ask to be brought into the world? I know I didn't, and my dad stepped up to the plate. My husband stepped up to the plate and despite his initial reservations, he loves and adores our son completely. I have never heard him laugh as much or as hard as he does when playing with our son. My dad wouldn't have given up any of us kids for anything. They chose not to "opt out" and were greatly rewarded for it. Given the chance to actually experience fatherhood, I don't know that many men would want to opt out of parenthood. Let them experience the joy. Don't let them cop out.

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