by Lesley Poe

Created on: August 12, 2008

How To Reconnect With Someone You Love That Has A Disconnect When someone that you love suffers from an impairment such as Dementia, it unfortunately causes a disconnection in many ways. Our loved one changes in so many ways, causing a disconnection, not only in their perceptions and intrepretations of reality, but sadly in their emotional connection to the people around them. My mother was one such person, who gracefully disconnected. Mom was in and out of reality, which could change in a heartbeat. In and out of reality, back and forth. By the grace of God, I learned quickly that when Mom was out, she was certainly not able to be with me in my world. No matter what I would say or do would not bring her back to reality. I had to go into her world with her, in order to reconnect with her. So I would disconnect for the time being into what seemed to me to be an imaginary world, luckily, a loving world. Mom would want to go "Up the hill for a ride and we would go, commenting on what beautiful shade of green the sky was ! Later, we would make the transition back to my world of reality, having had a great time. When I went into Mom's world, it was as if I was reliving my childhood, pretending my reality. Mom encouraged my creativity and imagination, as a child. As an adult I could now use my talents to reconnect with Mom despite the ravages of Dementia I also quickly learned that Mom and I could reconnect thru all of our senses in any reality. We both discovered a whole new world of textures, especially pleasant ones. Mom loved the silkiness of satin, and the softness of fur. I indulged her in the best of fabrics for the simple sake of touch, and bonding with me. Music was of course another avenue of exploration that erconnected the two of us. Usually in Dementia words to song are never lost and forgotten. Surprisingly, Mom always remembered the words to many songs as long as they were being played to her, and someone would sing. Eye contact and facial expressions took on a whole new meaning. Mom and I constantly and affectionately would gaze into each others eyes fpr so many reasons, when communication was broken down. All of these coping methods are really common sense and self explanitory. Love of course, is the greatest healer. Love knows all realities.I learned so much from Mom. It turned out to be an amazing journey. Like the old saying goes, "When life gives you lemon make a lemonade ".

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