When it comes to the use of words, I believe that even the best wordsmith has to agree with the fact that it is a double-edged sword.
Words have the ability to lift someone's spirits up but they also have the power to totally crush someone's dreams. Coupled with the fact that words cannot be taken back once spoken, it is therefore crucial that we made every effort possible to think things through in interpersonal communications before responding. This may seem to be an achievable act but in the moment of anger or frustration, we have a tendency to say or make hurtful remarks about someone, remarks that we often regret saying soon after. When we are envious or jealous about someone or something, there's also a tendency for us to use words that may prove to be hurtful or offensive to someone.
As can be observed, we use harmful words only when we are experiencing negative emotions such as anger, frustrations, envy or jealousy. However, if we look further, it can be observed that the reason that hurtful words are used is not so much the negative emotions that we are experiencing but the thoughts that are in our mind. Our emotions and temperaments are determined by our thoughts. As long as we think positively and stay optimistic, there's a high probability that we are able to reduce the use of hurtful words and hence, steer clear of the harmful effect of words on others. It is important to note that when we use words to hurt others in a fit of anger, we are hurting ourselves in the process as well.
There are several reasons why we should steer clear of using hurtful words as there are consequences. Let's have a look at some of them.
Firstly, saying hurtful words to others is harmful as it creates emotional scars. And emotional scars - unlike physical wounds - sometimes never heal. This is especially so for individuals who have a tendency to bear grudges and remember the negative things are being said about them. A single remark such as "You will never amount to anything" is more than enough to hurt someone for a lifetime or even destroy someone's life/dream. This is especially so if this remark is told to a young child.
Secondly, hurtful remarks often attack the person but not the issue(s). When there's a disagreement in certain matters, it is always better to tackle the issue(s), not the person. However, hurtful remarks often directly question the abilities of the person and not the problem at hand. This usually leads to poor or even damaged working relationships with others. Over time, teamwork is affected and morale will drop drastically due to lack of trust among team members and an environment of excess criticism.
There are some of us who have the perception that hurting someone through the use of words will spur him or her into action. Thus, hurting someone verbally is used as a tool to encourage people and propel them into greatness. This observation can be observed in some parents and teachers in a bid to enable their children and students to excel respectively. However, such approach harms more than nurtures since it affects the recipients of the hurtful words adversely in terms of their morale and confidence.
The deadliness of hurtful words lies in the fact that - more often than not- the recipient of hurtful words never really recover from the hurt. Most of them will continue to live their lives in pain, with an inner voice constantly repeating the hurtful messages that they have received during their younger days. And this will negatively affect all of their endeavours for life.
There's probably only one way to counter the use of hurtful words: think positively, adopt an optimistic mindset and more importantly, encourage others to do their best. Instead of being angry with someone's incompetency or inadequacies, we should tell ourselves that all of us have our own strengths. We just have to discover it. Discovering our strengths is important but more importantly, we should discover the strengths, talents and abilities in others. Accept others' flaws and encourage them to develop their strengths.
Through the practice of giving constant encouragement to others, we will build strong rapport with them. Once this becomes habitual, we will gradually stay away from hurtful words and thus reduce the harmful effect of words.
Although the usage of words is a double-edged sword, we should be mindful that we are not at the mercy of words. Through a change in mindset, we can use words to nurture individuals and enable them to shine instead.