by Patrick Tay

Created on: August 11, 2008

When it comes to the use of words, I believe that even the best wordsmith has to agree with the fact that it is a double-edged sword.

Words have the ability to lift someone's spirits up but they also have the power to totally crush someone's dreams. Coupled with the fact that words cannot be taken back once spoken, it is therefore crucial that we made every effort possible to think things through in interpersonal communications before responding. This may seem to be an achievable act but in the moment of anger or frustration, we have a tendency to say or make hurtful remarks about someone, remarks that we often regret saying soon after. When we are envious or jealous about someone or something, there's also a tendency for us to use words that may prove to be hurtful or offensive to someone.

As can be observed, we use harmful words only when we are experiencing negative emotions such as anger, frustrations, envy or jealousy. However, if we look further, it can be observed that the reason that hurtful words are used is not so much the negative emotions that we are experiencing but the thoughts that are in our mind. Our emotions and temperaments are determined by our thoughts. As long as we think positively and stay optimistic, there's a high probability that we are able to reduce the use of hurtful words and hence, steer clear of the harmful effect of words on others. It is important to note that when we use words to hurt others in a fit of anger, we are hurting ourselves in the process as well.

There are several reasons why we should steer clear of using hurtful words as there are consequences. Let's have a look at some of them.

Firstly, saying hurtful words to others is harmful as it creates emotional scars. And emotional scars - unlike physical wounds - sometimes never heal. This is especially so for individuals who have a tendency to bear grudges and remember the negative things are being said about them. A single remark such as "You will never amount to anything" is more than enough to hurt someone for a lifetime or even destroy someone's life/dream. This is especially so if this remark is told to a young child.

Secondly, hurtful remarks often attack the person but not the issue(s). When there's a disagreement in certain matters, it is always better to tackle the issue(s), not the person. However, hurtful remarks often directly question the abilities of the person and not the problem at hand. This usually leads to poor or even damaged working relationships with

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