by A. D. McDowell

Created on: August 10, 2008   Last Updated: February 17, 2011

The trials and errors of dating and relationships help each of us to shape our views concerning our "ideal mate". Whether we are male or female, we are each searching for our own version of the perfect person for us. We are all searching for completion in some form or fashion.

So, what is the criteria for the "ideal mate"? It depends on who you ask. Based on our past experiences with relationships, we begin to formulate a mental list of what worked and what didn't. We begin to categorize personalities, personal traits, habits, attitudes and emotions that we've experienced with others.

There comes a point in time in nearly every one's life where the thought and desire to settle down becomes top priority. So the hunt begins for that perfect dating scenario where all the t's are crossed and all the i's are dotted. We begin going down our mental list and checking off the areas our dating partner possesses. When we get to that one area on the list where they don't measure up, some times we discard them because they don't fit the full bill. Many times this is a pre-mature action and we could very well be cheating ourselves out of a great and fulfilling relationship.

What should this "ideal list" consist of? What should we be looking for?

Character is a must. Is the person you're with of good character? Honesty and integrity go a long way in a relationship. Is you're partner willing to be open and honest, even if the truth hurts a little? Or do you find them skirting around the truth all the time? Next, compatibility and communication. A good open line of communication is very important. Being able to communicate opens the doors to other avenues in the relationship. Being able to express your needs, desires, dreams, fears, passions and goals with one another keeps you and your relationship on the same page. If you can't openly communicate, you'll find you'll soon be going in different directions.

In talking to male and female friends, many look for security and re-assurance. Do you feel safe and protected with the one you're with? Does this person support you and give you positive feedback and re-assurance when you need it. Does your mate motivate you to better yourself and strive to reach your goals? Does he or she have your back through thick and thin? Are they willing to stand with you and face the obstacles life brings? None of us wants to be with some one afraid to face the tough times, or worse, end up with some one who runs away leaving us to stand alone.

The "ideal mate" is some one you find the deep bond of friendship with wrapped around the emotions of love and happiness. There is never going to be that one and only perfect person for you. No one is perfect. However, the perfect ideal relationship is built on respect for one another and the continuance of pursuing your goals together. The ideal person is one who strives to better themselves and you as well. So the simple little flaws shouldn't discredit them and knock them out of the running. Weigh the positive and work from there. It may just be that they need you're help in smoothing out the rough edges. Don't focus on perfection, but rather what is the perfect fit for you and your needs.

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