by Jennifer Faber

Created on: August 10, 2008   Last Updated: September 09, 2008

There comes a time in every relationship when you have to care for one another. We all know this going into a marriage, we even include it in our traditional wedding vows, "in sickness and in health," but what happens in the case of an illness which lasts for much longer than something simple like, for example, the flu? What happens when health issues affect every day of your life for a year or two, or ten, twenty or more? If you are (or the partner of) someone dealing with health issues, how do you make it work for better or for worse, "in sickness and in health?"

I happen to be someone who suffers from Fibromyalgia (FM) which, in my case, includes frequent Migraine headaches and is often disabling, but not directly life-threatening. Although I merely received the diagnosis of FM earlier this year, I have been a sufferer since at least as far back as my late teens. Fibromyalgia is simply defined as a chronic pain disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal aches, pain and stiffness, soft tissue tenderness, general fatigue, and sleep disturbances. There are many "secondary" symptoms of Fibromyalgia, all with varying intensities that wax and wane over time. I am now 30 years old (the youngest person I know diagnosed with FM), and I will have Fibromyalgia for the rest of my life.

My husband, Chris and I met before my health issues, and he has stayed by my side throughout most of my ordeal. There were multiple series of tests, which all came back "normal." The doctors weren't able to come up with a clear diagnosis. Chris took me in for every hospital visit and every doctor's appointment for the first year, before having to make the tough decision to leave home and join the Navy. We spent a year apart, but remained in a long-distance relationship before eventually getting married in 1999.

My husband and I have two young children now, aged 2 and 6. After each pregnancy, my aches and fatigue became more severe (and not in the normal, "new mom" way). My migraines became out of control. We made the decision to breastfeed our children, which made my symptoms more complicated to treat.

Chris began missing work to help care for me and the children. His job with the Navy was extremely demanding of his time and unsupportive of our circumstances. It was challenging for both of us and began to strain our marriage. The stress of everything worsened my symptoms, thrusting us into a downward spiral. We decided together that we had to change our situation in order to keep

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>