by Little Strawberry

Created on: August 10, 2008   Last Updated: December 06, 2008

I think there is a 'knowing' feeling if you are in an unhealthy relationship. An ache in your gut, a knot in your throat, things that aren't being said, and feelings that are being strongly felt, but not discussed. One of the blatant signs that you are in an unhealthy relationship, is that it's one-sided. Not 'one-sided', as in you're sighing about somebody you're not even with, but one-sided as in 'you're the one doing all the work to make the relationship survive'. If that's you, you need to find out why things have gotten to that point, and more importantly, how they got there. Instigate a conversation with your partner, but don't ever accuse or assume. That goes for both parties. Just try to talk, and listen! One of the biggest factors in lasting relationships, is that the couples are not only deeply in love, but they communicate constantly. Take your cues from couples that have been together forever. A couple who still finds each other interesting, and caring, and loving, after decades of being together. Because that in itself will teach you something about relationships, and what is important in life: to be loved, and to know that the other person loves you, without conditions. When it comes down to everything, that is what holds a couple together.

That said, if your partner is abusing you or the status of the relationship, whether it is physically or mentally, you need to get out. If they're cheating, lying, if they hit you, or they are constantly making you feel like you just don't matter, there is a better person out there for you, and you might just need to leave the present person to find them. An abusive partner not only lacks respect for you, they lack respect for themselves, because they obviously do not care about who they're hurting, or how they're making that person feel. Let them go, so you can find someone who will love you totally (and you them, hopefully), and so that the abusive partner can hopefully learn from your leaving, that their behavior is unacceptable. Tell them that if you have to, but don't get down to their level and get nasty. If you can't get through to them in any way, all that is saying is that something has changed, it's not for the better, and that you deserve better than to be ignored by someone who is supposed to absolutely love you and understand you. Sometimes people just change, and there might not be a fix for that, no matter how much one tries. Find people who will support and protect you, so that you can get back on your feet again. Resolve to be the kind of person you would like to meet, and treat people the way you'd like to be treated. Like attracts like. Be kind.

Unconditionally.

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