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I was going through a bad break up. You know, the kind where all you can do is think of him or you'll drop everything, even plans with friends, to go see him if he called. Sound familiar? One day over coffee, an intelligent friend of mine told me something I'm going to tell you:

"Te tiene como arrastrada". Ouch! Think of it as, "He has you by the hair in cave-man times, being dragged in the dirt." This statement was true enough for me at the time. It's never good to be called this. It's a common thing to call a woman "one who lets herself be dragged around" in Latin culture, but we don't really have that in English. Now that you've heard it, it kind of hurts doesn't it?

How Long?

So ladies (and gentlemen too), how long are you going to get dragged around? We know the symptoms, but what do we do about them? It's hard to break up, even harder when you have kids together. Breakups are painful, but they don't have to be complicated. Not, if you stick to the rules of separation.

Rule #1:
The First Step:

"So what's the first thing I should do?" I asked my girlfriend who is working on her Master's in psychology. She put down her coffee and looked me straight in the eye. "Well, I guess you could get passed the first stage: denial."

Whether it's temporary or for good, admit that it's over/ done/ finito (at least for now). That being said, even in its most temporary state, you have to play by the rules of "over-ness".

Rule#2:
The Truth:

Realize that someone who has broken up with you, does not need space, and is not, "Trying to do something s/he needs to do on their own." The truth is that: yes, they are going through something, and whatever that is, cannot be solved with you in the picture, which is why, they have terminated the relationship; even, if it's just temporary.

Face it, if you really loved and wanted to be with someone, can you think of one thing that you would really not want your other half around for? Sickness, mental anguish, mid-life crisis, "needs to move out of town"? You would probably want them around, right?

Rule#3:
Wash your hands:

Since you are not in the picture, this person you were seeing is no longer your responsibility. You know exactly what I mean! You will not, be the sober driver on the nights that s/he gets too wasted to drive anymore! You will not, be the shoulder to cry on during any time of day. You will not, you will not, you will not sleep with him or her.

Anyone who still expects you, or asks from you, any of these things is selfish, self-centered,

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