by Shaheen Darr

Created on: August 09, 2008   Last Updated: November 03, 2009

After having spent twenty years of my life as a married woman I would like to think that I can understand men, or maybe one man quite well. And I am sorry to break the news that men do come from planet earth like women do and not from Mars as is often said in jest.

Do not think that your man does not love you if he does not read out love poetry to you or send you flowers all the time. Some men may be this way inclined but for the majority of men their actions rather than their words speak loud and clear for them. If a man loves his woman he will clean her car, he will repair broken things in the house, and he will bring her breakfast in bed if he knows she is not feeling well. In fact there are lots of other things he will do for the woman he loves and his family, not just as a duty but because he wants to.

All that a man wants from his woman in return is love and a home that he looks forward to coming home to at the end of his day. Make this home an inviting and happy place where he can relax and enjoy his own time when he wants it. A nagging wife who is ready to have a go whenever she gets a chance is not the most pleasant of partners to go home to. Keep the nagging out and bring in a two way communication into his life. There always will be issues to discuss and problems to solve, do this after you have both eaten and are relaxed. Initiate the discussion and keep arguments out of the picture or he will go into a world of silence which you might not be able to penetrate for some time.

Most men are proud of the woman by their side, look after yourself so that your self image and happiness in your own life radiates to his life too. A depressed or angry partner will affect a whole household so take steps to keep a relationship alive, interesting and exciting. Do not assume he is having an affair if he looks at another woman, he cannot help it (biological difference again maybe?). But do not assume the worst, he will not go out of his way to destroy his family life unless he is really unhappy at home.

Men do not like multi tasking; this has been a tried and proved fact. They like to tackle one thing at a time, understand the technicalities of it, complete it and then move on to the next thing. Women can handle three things at the same time; they will cook, look after a child and clean while talking on the phone. It is therefore unfair to expect a man to hurry things up when it is not in his nature to do so, just let him complete a task in his own time and help him in this endeavour by making sure there is a cup of tea by his side. This gesture reminds him of your love for him and you might even hear him singing as he does his bit for you in the house.

A man's career affects his self confidence and his relationship with his family and friends. He needs support when things are not going his way so give him the reassurance that you are by his side in good times and in bad. There is always more pressure on the man when things are not going well financially so take time to help him out if he needs that extra bit of help. This is what makes a relationship loving and strong and he will love you for the support you gave him when he needed it.

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