by Yvonne Moore

Created on: August 09, 2008   Last Updated: August 20, 2008

Being well organized permits me to accomplish personal and professional goals. My husband, a Type B personality, correlates my regular list of weekly chores to seven days of incarceration. His idea of a weekend getaway is to pack a bag of assorted clothes, jump in the car and then decide where to go. Being a Type A individual, I would prefer to plan the trip a month in advance, have the reservations made, touring tickets prepurchased and bags packed the night before departure.

Should you find yourself or a friend in this situation, do not consider the relationship irreconcilable. My husband and I have both admitted that our personality differences can be challenging. However, having been previously married to a Type A, and also being one, was a struggle. It was a tug of war as to which partner's goal or list should be accomplished first. Whereas, a relationship with opposing personalities do not have two active, well defined schedules to adhere to. Nevertheless, to accommodate the personality differences I believe there are five tactical rules Type A and Type B partners should live by.

Rule number one is to remind yourself and your partner that you are not living alone. If you want things done your way and only your way then why be in a relationship? There are now two brains, each with unique and valuable ideas. Unfortunately this does not imply that the thought process or actions toward accomplishing a goal will occur simultaneously. However, unless the house is on fire or your spouse is having a heart attack, there are very few issues in life that require an immediate response.

Rule number two is to establish a weekly event together, alternating who selects how the time is spent. This is important for a Type A person since he or she will spend every waking moment striving to achieve their personal goals. Furthermore, it accommodates their need to maintain a schedule. Equally as important, the event guarantees a Type B partner time for play and socializing. Once the scheduled time begins there should be no deviation from the event. For example, my husband recently selected watching a football game together as our quality time. Being a Type A, I attempted to include household chores during the commercials. He claimed my actions broke the rule. His explanation was that conversations and even a gentle kiss can be missed in 60 seconds.

Rule number three is the promise to say "I love you" and "thank you." These two phrases are valued differently to opposite personalities.

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