by Kevin Mcinturff

Created on: August 09, 2008   Last Updated: February 01, 2011

For most men, committing to a relationship long term is a lot like buying a car. Sure, they love the shine of the chrome, the feel of the leather seats and the way the car handles, but when it comes to signing on the dotted line, the question men ask themselves is, "Am I doing the right thing?"

For a woman, you need to reassure your man that he is doing the right thing. If you both have been together for sometime and you are looking to take your relationship to the next stage, then finesse is the key. Never be confrontational; if you use the direct approach such as asking about moving in together or marriage, he may balk. It is not that he does not love you or want to be with you; it is just that he may not feel ready to take on the responsibility of having a life partner.

Single men have some little boy left in them. Other than a job, the only other obligations they have are to themselves and maybe a pet. They come and go when they want, eat what they want, watch television at all hours, hang out with their buddies and answer to no one but themselves. When confronted with the possibility of someone else being there to whom they may have to accommodate, then they may start looking for a back door.

When trying to discuss the future of your relationship, it is best to drop hints. For example, you may ask if he prefers a king or queen size bed or if he likes living where he is or perhaps would like a bigger place. If he answers you straight out, then it means that he is ready for future commitment. On the other hand, if he gives you a double take, then he is not ready.

Another sign that he is ready to move forward is how he reacts to you leaving your things at his place. Try living articles of clothing or toiletries and see if he notices. If he does not try to return them, then he is indicating that he wants to have you around. As Jerry said to George on the show Seinfeld, "If she has things in your medicine cabinet, then you are in a committed relationship."

The biggest indicator however, that your man is ready for a more permanent relationship is when he introduces you to his closest friends and family. When he does this, he is saying that he has made his choice and he wants their approval. When you find that you are having dinner with the relatives, you have arrived.

Of course, if you find that your man is not ready for a future, long-term relationship, then you have to ask yourself some hard questions about whether you want to hang in there with him or move on. It may help to remember that in terms of relationships, at some point there has to be commitment.

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