by Ken Tanaka

Created on: August 09, 2008   Last Updated: January 01, 2009

Love often leaves scars. People, whether intentionally or unintentionally, do and say things that hurt others. It would be safe to say that everyone has at some point been hurt or let down by others.

It seems ironic that wounds inflicted by those we love, and who love us, hurt more than those inflicted deliberately by people who don't mean anything to us. The most painful wounds are from our own friends, family, lovers, and spouses. They often apologize, but seldom does the scar heal completely.

Many people try to protect themselves from hurt by hardening their heart. They toughen their skin so as not to feel pain. This course of action could seem reasonable and effective. Unfortunately, this tactic won't hamper future hurts or disappointments. Everybody, even those with the apparently hardest of exteriors, bleeds. Nobody is exempt from the trials of life.

Those who harden their hearts are worse off for it in the end. While someone who has hardened their heart and toughened themselves may seem impervious to hurt, it does not mean he or she has become a better person. They will miss much of the beauty in life. They will always be keeping themselves back from love. They will not be able to understand or have empathy for others, and worst of all, they will grow distant from friends and loved ones in an effort to protect themselves from getting hurt. This is the mistrust that destroys friendships.

This isn't to justify the wrongdoings. I'm not saying you should be so nave that you get used or misused. Do practice caution. It may be wise to reflect on past hurts and see where you might have been too nave or unwise, in order to learn lessons for the future. I am talking about outlook. Attitude makes a world of difference in any situation. A positive outlook can alter your reality.

Vulnerability is a spiritual nudity. Vulnerability means that you can get up and keep on living after any blow life sends your way. To be vulnerable means that you aren't holding yourself back from any experience in life, because they are all good. It means that, yes, you might get hurt sometimes. But it means that you are honest, that you are genuine, and that you will stay beautiful and youthful in spirit. It means you will be able to empathize with others who have gone through the same hurts.

Heartbreaks and disappointments make people either bitter or better. If you can smile through the rain, you'll see the rainbow, but if you look down at the mud, you'll only get wet. Accept the past hurts in your life, prepare for more, and live beautifully.

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