by Jane Vee

Created on: August 09, 2008   Last Updated: May 30, 2009

Finding out that your soul mate, your spouse, the person of your dreams, your partner in life, has health issues can be a scary discovery. Neither of you know where to turn. You rely on each other for answers and comfort. Now, you must cope with the daily challenges of the disease. How can you help your partner?

How do you deal with the challenges of a disease? How do you deal with your partner's challenges of dealing with his or her diseases? Are you going to start nagging for them to take better care of themselves? Are you going to tell them they will be okay? Will you help them do what they need to do to take care of the disease?

Here are a few ways to help your partner deal with his or her health issues:

1. Space - When first diagnosed, your partner may not want to talk to you about his or her health issue. Give your spouse his or her space. When they are ready, they will talk. Be there ready to listen without pushing.

2. Support - Regardless of what your partner was diagnosed with, be supportive. Talk when your partner wants to talk about his or her health issues. Follow their lead when dealing with their health issues.

3. Save your accusations/blame - Don't blame your partner for the disease he or she has. Chances are good, your partner is upset enough about their medical condition. Don't tell them had they not eaten so badly, or if they would only have skipped the dessert, or they should have taken better care of themselves.

4. Consideration - Consider how your partner must be feeling, finding out about his or her health issue. Treat them like you would want to be treated. Don't be overzealous in your help.

5. Help - Before you start offering advice and help, ask your partner if he or she wants your help. Let him or her set guidelines for your help. Let them feel like they still have control over their life.

6. Respect - Respect your partner's decision and way of life. If your partner doesn't want to deal with his or her health issue the way you want them to, it's okay to point out their other options, but after they decide how they want to handle their health issue follow their lead.

7. Comfort - Comfort your partner as best you can. Don't baby your partner because in the long run that won't help either of you.

Remember you and your partner may not be able to deal with his or her health issues by yourselves. Ask the doctor about support groups. Even if your partner doesn't want to go to a support group, you can join one on your own. Support groups are set up for the person that is diseased or for the people who love them.

You don't have to deal with health issues alone. You can find help. It's important that you take control of the health issue, instead of the health issue controlling you.

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