by Terry Loving

Created on: August 09, 2008   Last Updated: August 20, 2008

Quite frankly, negative people are extremely boring and lifeless; my ex-husband was one of them. No matter what positive things I said to him, he never saw any good in anyone or anything. If you are dating or married to such a person, your relationship may be headed for trouble, I divorced him.

So how does one become such a negative turn off? Unfortunately, this mind-set starts to form in childhood. My ex-husband grew up with very little encouragement in his life. His perception of life as a whole seemed bleak. His parents and most of the adults around him lived a life of negativity; his optimism was little to none.

One of the most damaging ways that our society contributes to negative relationships is via the media, especially advertisement. People have a tendency to embrace what is shown on TV, and written in magazines as the Gospels of our society. For example, a certain style of vehicle is advertised, and the ad implies that you are a "nobody" unless you possess this particular vehicle. A person with low self-esteem will embrace this as a truth spoken directly to his soul. My husband was one of those people.

Sadly, we allow outside forces to shape, mold and set the standards for who we are and should be as a person. When we don't measure up to what others say we should be, and possess what advertisement says we should have, we become negative and ruin our most precious relationships.

My husband put me down and criticized me unjustly. When you are on the receiving end of negativity, your inner defenses reject the poisoned darts hurled at you. Worst of all, your mate forfeits what he needs most from you, love. No one desires to be around negative people. They are avoided at work, and their own kids hide from them. Cheating should never be, however, your negativity can drive your mate into the arms of another. The temptation was there, but I knew that wasn't the answer. Everyone needs to hear uplifting and positive things on a daily basis. And if one cannot get positive strokes at home, well you know the end of the story. I thank God that I have a conscience.

My ex-husband thought he was practicing positive thinking. But his harsh words spoke otherwise. His belittling eventually turned to uncontrolled anger, verbal abuse, and he began to get physical. One push into a chair was enough for me to make a decision to leave. Every aspect of his life was affected by his negativity. He got fired from a really nice Management position, and we lost our home. Needless to say, his health was affected by his bad attitude. He suffered from high blood pressure, and eventually died from cancer and other aliments. My advice, look within, find something positive to embrace, and live.

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