by V. Kumar

Created on: August 09, 2008

Alcohol is fine till you are in control over it, but the moment you allow alcohol to take control of you, you are a gone case. The first place where you will feel the heat is family and married life. It is time to choose, and you can choose only one of them!

One major quality of alcohol that makes it almost incompatible with marital happiness is its impact on one's mental faculties. Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant - it reduces the capabilities of the brain. By doing so, it makes a person indulge in verbal and physical actions that he or she would probably not indulge in, if not under the effect of alcohol. Often such errors and aberrations can lead to disastrous consequences.

The first effect of alcohol is to remove the 'inhibition.' Normally, a person is tempted to react to a lot of things around him, but because he has learnt or come to the conclusion that reacting to things would not be in his best interests, so he would detest from reacting. Either he would modify his response to make sure his interests are not hurt, or he may not react at all - even ignore the whole event.

In marital life, when two persons are brought very close to each other, and have to tolerate the pros and cons of each other, with little opportunity to escape, such due diligence and control over one's reactions assumes critical significance. Instead of saying, "damn you! go to hell! I am fed up with this now - let's decide for once and all..", one would tend to say, "but, Darling! I did it only for you. If you don't want that to happen... well... we can think about it. But let us not spoil our evening over this issue now." Unfortunately, even small doses of alcohol that do not necessarily get a person inebriated can take away this ability to control yourself, by removing the inhibition. Coming out with your true colors (feelings) can just prove to be that last nail in the coffin for that already failing marital relationship.

Many a times, by taking away the inhibitions, alcohol can also make it easy for you to express your true thoughts and emotions. Alcohol can definitely add to the romance of your first date. Unfortunately, marital peace is often based more on tolerance and adjustment than romance, and that can be under real threat once a person loses his or her ability to control oneself at the appropriate moment.

If even harmless doses can prove to be so dangerous, there should be no doubt as to how much more damage can be brought about by the addiction and frequent or persistent inebriations that would actually block and distort all marital communications. An individual, who is more interested and concerned about his drinks than his spouse, is unlikely to get any attention or emotional satisfaction in return.

Lastly, alcohol's interference with one's career and the total economic cost that it imposes on the couple can only make matters worse. If the other spouse is dependent, then the economic strain is bound to take its toll. If the other spouse is well placed, she may be left with little need for continuing with a failed relationship. Either way, the marital troubles are only likely to get worse.

If not taken care of soon, alcoholism can play havoc with the life of the people suffering it. A large part of those problems arise with its interference with marital life and satisfaction.

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