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Negativity in a relationship has many devastating effects... often not seen until it's too late.

In a fashion much like the Titanic disaster, what appears to be smooth sailing water, will- out of nowhere- to turn into an ocean made treacherous by "icebergs." It's said that only 10% of an iceberg is visible above water, the other 90% is below water.

The same is true of the negativity in a relationship- only a very small percentage of the negativity and effects thereof, are visible in your relationships- the rest often remain hidden until it's too late to change course. The problem with negativity in a relationship is that very often we don't realize what we are doing to ourselves, our partner or our relationship.

It's very difficult to change your course, once you start in the direction of negativity.

Constantly nagging and complaining at your spouse or significant other can really hurt your relationship, and bring it to the edge of disaster. Nagging and complaining is often a very quick way to cause arguing, apathy, cheating, and even the end of the relationship.

Often, the unwillingness to see that we are tearing our significant other down with every word we direct at them and change it, is what will quickly drive our significant other away. No one wants to be constantly made to feel as if they are being "reprimanded" by their significant other, no one wants to be constantly criticized or reminded of their faults.

It's usually in this environment, that an emotional affair gets started- Once your significant other realizes that there is someone out there who can and will be "nice" to them and will give them the "reassurance" that they need, it's hard for them to turn away from the affection and affirmation that they aren't getting from their partner.

My own marriage was almost ruined by my sharp tongue, my constant verbal barrages of hatefulness, and nagging my husband all of the time. My inability to be happy or satisfied with myself and life in general, caused me to lash out at my husband and make him absolutely miserable.

In less than five years, we were brought to the brink of separation and divorce several times, and it wasn't until I began dealing with my own inner demons, my temper and working on my habit of nagging, that we began the healing process of all of the pain caused by the negativity in our relationship.

Often when negativity exists in a relationship, it's not just one person, but in our case I "started" it. Once I set the course for direct impact with

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