by Lea Nich

Created on: August 09, 2008

Growing up my brother and I weren't allowed a dog. Despite the constant pestering and badgering, our parents always stood firm and said no. As my brother and I were in school and our parents both had full time jobs it seemed unfair to leave a pet in the house by itself all day. Although we were disappointed at the time we came to understand their decision and as adults we'd make the same decision ourselves.

It was fate that brought us Pip. After an uncle was unable to care for him he came to stay with us on a short term basis 'A couple of weeks, just till I find him a permanent home.' We agreed, wanting to help and the desire to have a dog had long since faded for me. In fact, this four legged fur ball leaping and bounding about my home felt more like an intrusion than anything else. I couldn't sit still for fear of being jumped on and licked to death. For weeks afterwards I resigned myself to my room until he was to be taken away. Days turned into weeks and weeks into months until eventually after many "Don't get too attached, we aren't keeping him" speeches from my Mother, She finally announced that she had decided to keep him and that we would all share the work load of looking after him.
Inevitably it was my brother who shouldered most of the responsibility and to his credit he did it without complaint. When he moved away I took on some of the duties, not to many. Just enough to know I was needed.
You don't really see it when it happens gradually in front of you but for my brother the changes in the dog were more obvious. When he came home for Christmas or for a few weeks in the Summer, Pip would walk a little slower or have a few more white hairs in his coat.
He began to make more regular trips to the vet and his medication increased in dosage and regularity. The cost wasn't important, he was. He'd become an important part of our lives and we'd barely noticed it. He was a member of our family and rightly so.
My face was the last he saw before he closed his eyes, my hand lay on his chest as he took his last breaths. I knew I'd have to be there to make sure he'd really gone, that I wouldn't believe it unless I saw it myself.
We were all very quiet that night, sitting in front of a muted television. The occassional glance to the spot on the carpet where a dogs sleeping body usually lay.
My heart broke twice that day, the first when it finally sank in that Pip wasn't coming back and that he'd really gone. The second when I looked into my Mothers eyes and realized the pain she was in and knowing there was nothing in the world I could do about it.

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