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We have all found ourselves perched on the fence about one thing or another at some point in our lives. You know; the one where the grass is greener on the other side? It is uncomfortable being on that fence with the pointy tips of each board poking your behind prompting you to pick a side already. But as you already know, deciding which side of the fence to jump off to is not always a clear cut decision.

Being in a relationship is one of the situations in which we find ourselves thinking about hopping on the fence. It doesn't matter if you have been married a quarter of a century, a mere dozen years, recently married or just involved in a serious relationship. The questions that pop into our heads are the same. Are my needs being met? Am I happy? How do I know if my relationship is good or bad? Do I love my partner or am I just sticking with it because it is convenient? Should I stay or should I go?!

One thing to look at is how you feel when you are around your partner. Being in a healthy, loving relationship means that you feel valued, loved, and appreciated by that person as well as feeling respect, appreciation, and love for them in return. Many people make the mistake of thinking that they are supposed to feel crazy in love for the entire relationship. It can happen, of course, but as the relationship matures, it is not so much being "in love" as it is "to love".

Before you ask yourself whether or not your partner is filling your needs, consider this question: Are you filling your own needs? A good relationship should not complete you; it should complement you. It is your job to make yourself the best you possible and your partner should enhance who you are.

That's not to say that you should not count on your partner to make life feel more complete. If spending time with your partner on your days off is important to you, but your partner is always out with friends without ever extending an invitation to you, then it could be a problem. But before bailing out over that, ask yourself if that is the worse thing in your relationship. As long as you know that your partner is not disrespecting your relationship together while out with friends, then finding your own group of friends who share common interests could be what you need instead.

Deciding whether a relationship is good or bad is something that should be done by you and not your friends or family. Sure it is always good to get some feedback from people you know have your best interests at heart, but you are the one who truly knows who your partner really is. The answer is there if you look deep inside your heart.

Before taking the leap to the other side of the fence and leaving your current relationship behind, remember that every lawn has its weeds. There are no perfect relationships. Because we are human, and therefore imperfect, we are bound to have conflict with those who are the closest to us. Picture your life without your partner. Would you be better off without them? You should never stay in a relationship simply because of money. Make a list of positive and negative things about your relationship. Now ask yourself this: If your son/daughter were in your shoes, would your partner be good enough for them? I think you now have your answer.

Learn more about this author, MiLa Driver.
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