by Alison Paige

Created on: August 09, 2008

An Open Letter to My Sister
This is an open letter to my sister "C" a.k.a. Private Profile. I hope you read this. I know you'll find it. Will you find it interesting? Will you find it enlightening? I hope so.We haven't done a very good job communicating, have we? We've gone back and forth with clever words hoping to give the other the comeuppance we're sure the other one deserves. I was angry and needed you to understand something. You, on the other hand, peaceful and insightful.

What happened? You were in New York then suddenly you weren't living here anymore. But that's not what bothered me. I became aware very suddenly and without warning what it was that opened me eyes about you.

We were raised in the same house by the same people; our grandparents, who were to me my true parents and more so than my mother and father, who also resided with us along with our brother and two older sisters. But you know all this already.What you don't know is that for so many years, all my life actually, I have never felt compelled to compete with a sister or brother. I never felt the need because I saw us all on the same playing field (aside from the fact that I am inherently a non competitive person.It goes against my nature). And that's what I think is at the core of your actions. The need to compete. That's okay because it's how you have gotten what you've achieved in life. Many people have gone to high places and beyond with that very streak you possess. But that's not what bothered me either.

What was it that bothered me? Well, you became our mother. But before you pat yourself on the back let me assure you it's not the compliment you may think it is. Far from it. In fact, later in my years I have become retrospective about our mother and as much as I try I cannot help but come away feeling one thing for her: pity. And as much as I understand that from this woman I was born, I still cannot feel a sense of attachment. I don't think I ever did.

In you I see some of the same habits and distractions our mother exhibited . The insatiable need to be needed and wanted; the constant need for attention. From my respective as a child I found that embarrassing. From my perspective as an adult I find it troublesome, especially when it takes away from the one job in the world that counts, and that's taking the time necessary to care for the people she brought into the world, which she didn't.

Instead she surrounded herself with people who could do that for her. Take care of her children.

• 1
• 2
• 3
• Next Page >>