by Terry Loving

Created on: August 09, 2008   Last Updated: August 20, 2008

Well now, understanding men is a major undertaking. However, learning to live with their differences as the male species is priceless. Truthfully, I don't believe men and women will ever fully understand one another. Men and women would literally have to trade places, and live as the opposite sex in order to understand our differences. And certainly, a sex change does not cover the entire basis of the emotional, psychological, and physical attributes.

I had four brothers, birthed a son, been married, have a few special long-time male friends, and now dating. I cannot say that I understand men entirely, but here are some of the things about them that I have learned.

THE CAVE

Men have a special place that has been referred to as their "Cave." When they don't want to be bothered, they shut down. I used to take this silence and distance personal, but now I understand it. My typical female response in the past was, "Did I do something wrong?" Or, "What is the matter with you?" Now I just ask, "Are you ok?" I ask this to make sure no illness is present. Men have a macho way of pretending that they are not physically sick. So, if his response is, "I'm ok," then I back off.

"The Cave" can represent many things such as, watching TV for hours- (sports, favorite shows, etc). Some men just like to "get away" from it all. Unfortunately, some "get away" and stay gone for too long. Men are conditioned not to express emotions, or show how they really feel inside; so they find other ways to deal with the pressures of life. Some of the ways are positive, but most are negative. And one of the negatives is domestic violence. If you know that everything is "ok," and you know you haven't triggered a sullen mood, then my advice would be, "Leave him be." He'll come around after he's figured some things out. On the other hand, if he comes out of his cave a raging bull, then some serious conversation or escape is in order.

READ THE SIGNS

Being a Christian, I am not into astrology. However, there are some very true things that can be said about a person who is born under a certain sign. For instance, my son, and the man I am presently dating are both Gemini's. They have what can be construed as "split personalities." Their moods are up and down. They are very intelligent men, calm, loving, great fathers, and spiritualjust moody. Ok, so we all can get moody from time to time. Even our pets have their moods. However, the Gemini experiences severe mood swings that border on the edge of depression

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