by Joseph Kiwia

Created on: August 09, 2008   Last Updated: June 05, 2011

A guy's take: How to confront a man with his faults

Sometimes I feel hard to admit my faults particularly in front of my fiance. She had got information that I was having a secret relationship with another woman and kept on fact finding until one day she caught me read handed with my secret lover. She knew her beyond doubt out of her inquiry and investigations and there was no way that I could cheat her or fake that my secret lover was just a friend or a relative. She felt betrayed that she couldn't hide her annoyance. She scolded on me until I got angered and we could not settle down for a solution. Later on, she confronted me when I had cooled down and was relaxed. She was apologetic for annoying me and also brought me a gift in which she emphasized that she still loved me despite all that had happened to our relationship. I accepted my mistakes and we made up our relationship by forgiveness.

Soon afterwards my fiance had noticed that I was easily annoyed when confronted for my own mistakes or faults. She had already learned to approach me when I was relaxed and also with gifts. This way a faulty man will feel honored and a sense of belonging and will personally accept his mistakes. My fiance also used to approach me with caution and with a solemn language soon afterwards to avoid annoying me. She used to tell me that my mistakes are minor compared to our love, and this would compel me to accept my faults. A man who feels respected and paid his homage will be willing to accept his misdeeds and to apologize. To me this worked well because I never felt humiliated and was always willing to accept my faults and request for forgiveness by my fiance.

My fiance used to invite me for a discussion wherever I faulted her. She would let me know how our relationship is important to both of us and how my faults are affecting it. This was successful because I felt easy and relaxed to narrate to her how and why I did the faults without fear of intimidation and sometimes neglect. Sometimes I was compelled to hide the truth to protect the lasting of our relationship. But the tactic that was occasionally being used by my fiance made me to reveal everything about my faults. I came to learn that your attitude to your lover or couple will count most when it comes to telling the truth or forgiving each other.

Whenever some issues about my faults could not be solved between us, my fiance would invite me to accompany her to a counselor. Though I was apologetic enough to her,

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