by Fritz Bueno

Created on: August 09, 2008   Last Updated: August 21, 2008

When my husband and I were still dating, I really thought that we will be good together because we both like outdoors, we are both into hiking and swimming. However, as I got to know him more, I realized that we actually have very little things in common.

my side of the house

I was raised from a family that is close to each other. Yes, I had misunderstandings and some serious arguments with my parents and sisters, but those are normal. Any household experiences those things. And with my family, we openly accept our faults, we talk about them, and after that, everything is back to normal.

My family is big on occasions and celebrations. It is important for us that all family members are present on birthday celebrations, anniversaries, holidays and other important events. In fact, there is already an "unspoken rule" that we follow that for Christmas, we celebrate it with my dad's family, for New Year, it will be with my mom's family. Even if there is no occasion, we also take time to visit our relatives every week, or at east once a month, just to say hi and have small chit-chat on the happenings in the family.

his side of the house

I would have to admit that my husband was raised differently. He came from a separated family. He spent most of his childhood days with his mom, but he was always with his dad's relatives whenever he goes out. He seldom gets in touch with his brother, and he has not heard from his sister for quite a few years now.

He is not into grand celebrations, unlike what my family would do sometimes. He wants everything simple. He is the type of person who just goes with the flow; does not have plans most of the time. His way of showing respect to other people, especially to elders, is quite different from what I was taught.

one happy home

Even before we tied the knot almost five years ago, I already acknowledged these differences and I openly accepted them because I knew that we can overcome them. True enough, we are still together. Though the roads had not been always smooth, we were able to surpass them.

There were several times during our first couple of years that we will always argue because of things that he dislikes about my family and vice versa. But then we start to understand better as we spend more time with each other's families. We already know that our respective families will really be coming from different sides, and we already accepted that.

We just focus our attention now to our own family. I am thankful that we have similar points of view in raising our children. There were even a couple of times when we talked about how we were raised and how we both disagree with some of the things we learned as kids.

I strongly agree to what experts say that the key to a successful relationship is communication. My husband and I were not really the type who would engage in long and serious conversations before we got married. However, as I read several books, articles and excerpts on relationships, I learned how to open up and be honest with my feelings and emotions with him. So I started talking to him. Then slowly, he also did the same.

Now, we are more open and honest to each other. He understands my emotions better and I can also easily comprehend his change of moods. Right now, we still have some differences like preferences on how to spend the weekend, what to buy, or where to eat. But these are all trivial and we easily talk it out. When we come across with these petty arguments, we just decide to take turns. The outcome: we're both happy.

I cannot say that my marriage is a very strong one. I know that we will still have a lot of rough roads to go through. But I am confident enough that we will be able to manage them as long as we are together.

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