by Alita Mccaleb

Created on: August 08, 2008

Got to get away, she says,
looks across at the amber light crawling slowly up his Parliament,
leaving ashes suspended
He spots God between puffs, his eyes shining with idealism
I stick my hand out the window
nodding to the beat, I pretend to know too
Watching his long fingers flick a needle
to settle the bubbles,
I listen as they laugh at each other,
wondering how did I get to this place

so far from home
I look around at the men in my life,
remembering when they were just boys
counting out ten-dollar bills
for a baggie of tiny white pills
Got to get back home, she says,
turns her head so she won't see it slip in
Cries of pain were once pleasure;
now, the tears won't even come.
I roll over and close my eyes,
squinting out my surroundings and praying
to be anywhere but here
He carefully lines up the powder,
rolls a hundred-dollar bill with carefully measured movements,
dips his head again
Got to find myself somewhere, she says
she's been looking for so long
her feet are tired and her heart is sore
Smiling is only a habit, he explains,
his eyes dull and no longer alive
The cigarette flicks away into the gray sky
I watch until nothing is left,
suck in a deep gulp of cold night air
knowing deep inside that I'll never come back here again
I stand and brush off my pants
Got to get away, I say
maybe I'll be back someday

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