by R. Lipscomb

Created on: August 08, 2008   Last Updated: August 20, 2008

You sit down to your desk and cross your arms and you lay your head down. The thoughts that cross your mind are: We are fighting again, it is always about the money or the children or who did this or that so wrong this time. Sometimes everyone in a relationship gets to the point; the thought I can't take this anymore might cross their mind. After that thought usually comes the question, Should I stay or should I go?

When this question is mixed with heartache and tears, it becomes so touching to anyone who is human. Most people I have encountered will tell you to go. It is not worth him/her making you cry or making you to the point of being that upset. I have found this question is not that cut and dry. This question if you're thinking about it, is a life changing decision and we both know it.

With this situation, you need to ask yourself some very important questions before you decide to stay or go. Why are you feeling this way? Was it just a fight? Is this something we can work through? Maybe you want to stay because your partner is the only income in the house, you raised the kids and have not worked for years, or your maybe it is your health. Then again it might be you love her/him and you just can't handle the thought of starting over again without your loved one in your life, no matter how bad it hurts to stay.

Before being able to walk away from a relationship, some of the questions can be also asked in the same manner. What will happen if I lose my insurance? What if I have no money to live on? What will happen to the kids? Do I love myself enough to let go of this relationship and move on?

Do you realize some very strong people have to live in troubled relationships? They deal with disappointment, some needs or wants not being filled, maybe lies, cheating and even sometimes how to say sorry when it is not even their fault, or how to hide the tears because company just came to the door. They sometimes feel they cannot change things. If they are strong enough to handle these things, emotional they can take control of life and not accept things they way they are.

Once you ask your self a few of those questions, stop the anger and do something. You can change directions of your relationship. You're not the first person to do it, and wont be the last. You are worth way more than sitting around just thinking, if it was only different. Find the courage to change the relationship. You do not have to suffer with these thoughts alone. Find someone you have some confidence in a friend, another loved one, a pastor, or seek professional help. Sometimes if you just talk about what is going on in your life and how you are feeling it really can make all the difference.

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