We all go through vulnerable moments within the course of a lifetime. Those who don't admit to this may have grasped how to conceal vulnerability, though is concealing it always the best way forward in a relationship. This article explores the different aspects of vulnerability and discusses ways in which negative vulnerability can be changed into a positive form of communication which not only aids the vulnerable, but those around them.
*The weakness factor.
*The feminine factor.
*The balance between male and female.
*The positive side of vulnerability.
The weakness factor has been outplayed over the years. Women use vulnerability as an excuse for not being as good as they feel that others expect them to be. Once admitting failure is not always negative, and that human beings have strong areas within their personality, as well as weak ones, the impact of vulnerability changes. Instead of hiding behind the stance of "victim", a wife can learn to talk to her partner about areas of weakness instead of hiding behind them.
*The feminine factor.
Men like women to be in need of protection. Vulnerability helps to make a woman feminine, though too much of a good thing changes the characteristic of vulnerability into drama. The balancing act is gaged by the reactions given by the husband, and knowing what they appreciate. If a husband complains about a wife's incapability, then perhaps she is pushing the vulnerable aspects of her life a little too far.
If he is flattered by her weaknesses and encouraged to be strong for her, that's another thing entirely. The feminine factor depends upon the individual character of the relationship and only those within that relationship are able to judge how far is too far.
*The balance between male and female.
Men show vulnerability in a different way to women. Women tend to be quite vocal about what makes them feel vulnerable, and should understand that men don't tend to do this. Instead, they tend to keep those feelings inside. If a husband is unhappy, talking is a healthy way of tackling problems which may be making either party unhappy and restoring the balance between them.
*The positive side of vulnerability.
We see vulnerable people as those easily taken in by life. Naivety isn't always negative. How refreshing to see the smile of someone that has no other motive but to smile. How pleasurable it is to encounter real people with real weaknesses, and to recognize that humanity is made up of many facets which, for the sake of balance, need a certain amount of vulnerability for us to recognize and address strengths and weaknesses and to have a measure by which to learn normal response to a stimuli.
When viewed as a positive trait, vulnerability says there is room for discussion, room to improve a relationship, room to improve relationships going forward with a new understanding which allows the vulnerable to feel every bit as comfortable in their relationship as those who are naturally strong. Isn't that what makes human relationships so interesting ?
Learning these lessons about myself and my partner, made life better. No longer did I reproach him for areas where he was vulnerable, as these balanced out areas where I was also weak. I started to look at his strengths, and these always outweighed the areas of doubt and uncertainty, tackling the vulnerability little by little as trust developed, until we both accepted that we are who we are, though with the strength and bonds of marriage could rectify the vulnerabilities which had presented themselves throughout our lives.
Marriage grows and matures, and the day that neither party to a marriage has vulnerabilities is a sad day, and a day that perhaps they stop remembering the importance of communication, loyalty and need for support from one another.
We leaned against each other, and still do, one of us strong while the other weakens, and roles reversing on a regular basis, knowing that it our strength that sustains them in times of need, and their strength which sustains us and makes us whole. Two wedding band intertwine two lives with no barriers between them, able to deal with any vulnerability which arises, knowing our partner will help us through rough patches that lead to the same road together through life.