by Tom Fowler

Created on: August 08, 2008   Last Updated: August 20, 2008

The best way to be vulnerable is to practice the Biblical command stated by Jesus Christ in the Gospel of John. In chapter 15, verse 12, he commanded us to "love one another, as I have loved you."

One need not be a Christian to obey and practice this command. Indeed, it will be very hard to be open and vulnerable - to our loved ones if we do not. In some way, however we wish to articulate it; we must be willing at times to set aside our own wishes and dreams for the sake of another or others.

I may be preaching to the choir here, but it seems to me that it is easier for women to do this than we men. It is easy men to associate vulnerability to weakness, which is exactly opposite what opening yourself up to vulnerability with your loved ones truly is.

Pure love is power so great that few of us understand it as we should and vulnerability, in the sense we think of it in this writing, is an important expression of love. Love allows us to be strong when we are weak and, again, deciding to be vulnerable to the people we love is an act of spiritual strength.

So, back to the original question; how to be vulnerable? Again, we allow ourselves to be vulnerable when we practice pure and healthy love. Love in the sense that those in the Christian faith practice it is a decision, not an emotion. To love as Jesus Christ and the Apostle Paul did is the best example of what I am attempting to say. Both of these men gave their lives for their faith and concern for fellow humankind. What better expression of love and vulnerability is there than that? They became vulnerable to brutal deaths because they allowed themselves to be vulnerable out of love and concern for others.

The very fact that you are reading this article suggests that you are a person with at least some measure of higher regard and concern for others. You would be spending your time doing something else if you were not. But, you may be wondering if it is possible to be vulnerable to another person if you are not in love with him or her. The answer to this, in my view, is no. Remember, we are not speaking exclusively of romantic love here. (Of course, you will be vulnerable to that special someone in your life. You will not open yourself to the hurt and pain which becomes a real possibility when you allow vulnerability to enter the relationship if you do not have a higher regard of some kind for that person in this case, romantic love). You may call it something else, but I call that higher regard Christian love. When I speak of Christian love, I do not suggest that you are infatuated with, or even particularly like, the person or persons you have allowed yourself to be vulnerable to. It means that you have a genuine concern for the well-being of those others, to the point that you will, at times, place their needs above yours. Again, look at the lives of Jesus Christ and Paul the Apostle.

I hope this writing has not appeared preachy and that my point has been made. When you love, you will be vulnerable, because that comes with the territory. You will love because you decide to and you will decide to because it is the right thing to do. If you have allowed yourself to be vulnerable, you have blessed those around you and yourself as well, because you have taken an important step in spiritual maturity.

Vulnerability and its parent love are wonderful and powerful things. May you experience richness in both.

In Christian love for you - Tom

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