by Rayne Britt

Created on: August 08, 2008   Last Updated: August 20, 2008

My wife is a complete Type A personality. She keeps things neat, everything in its place. She rearranges the furniture every three to six months whether it needs it or not. She is outgoing and will talk to anyone until she finds out everything there is to know about them.

I, on the other hand, am a Type B personality. While I like having things where I can find them, they don't have to be in any one set place. Usually, if things are put "where they should be" I can't find what I'm looking for. I can't stand when she rearranges the furniture, more so because I trip over it when I come home from work at night and forget or don't know that it has been rearranged than from being a creature of habit, though it plays its own part I'm sure. And I am a total introvert who will only participate in conversations after being around others (usually in small spaces) when long awkward silences force me to.

It goes without saying that we tend to drive each other nuts. We cope by acknowledging the fact we drive each other nuts, telling each other when we have reached the point when we can't take it anymore, and coming to some compromise which usually involves agreeing to disagree. Usually, for my wife and I, this means I let her rearrange all the furniture as long as it's closer to the six month mark than the three. I get to enjoy things where they are for a little while and she gets to feng shui the apartment.

Just like any relationship, communication is the main thing. Telling your partner they are driving you nuts before they actually do will minimize problems. The sooner you do so the better. Waiting until the last minute usually means the problem has escalated to its highest level and will only result in a shouting match. Then you are just angry with each other and nothing changes. If you take care of problems early on when the problem has yet to reach a boiling point you have a better chance of talking things through rationally and striking some sort of compromise.

Why type A and type B personalities attract each other is a matter of much speculation. Occam's razor would suggest that we go with the simple explanation- that it is simply a matter of opposites attracting. Personally, I think it's because Type A's need someone who can calm them down and Type B's need someone who can get something done. If my wife didn't have me to mellow her out she might explode from the stress. (Probably only figuratively speaking, but who knows? Maybe that's why some people spontaneously combust.) If I didn't have my wife, I would still be buying socks and underwear when I ran out of clean ones instead of washing the ones I have already. (I swear though that at the time it was more economical; those pay-to-use washer and dryers at my old apartment were expensive.)

Steffannie and I are now on are third year of marriage. Things are looking so wonderful that I don't even care that she just rearranged the furniture again yesterday.

Learn more about this author, Rayne Britt.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.