by Ellie Tat

Created on: August 08, 2008   Last Updated: August 23, 2008

My husband has a type A personality - he is a go-getter, always organized and in action. I am type B - relaxed and going with the flow of life. Our differences were what brought us together in the first place. I was attracted to his never-ending energy, his ability to get everything done and his enthusiasm. He loved spending time with someone who was happy to sit back and listen to his stories.

In his company I got to do things and visit places I would have never thought of on my own. I was looking forward to our days off together, but they left me completely exhausted. When I suggested that we just relaxed at the beach occasionally, he would get bored within half an hour and look for something to do. I laughed at his to-do lists and he could not understand why I avoided taking action until it became absolutely necessary.

Overall, getting along was not hard. Of course, there were some challenges along the way, but that is true for every relationship. My husband put a lot of thought into birthdays and special occasions and expected the same tokens of appreciation from me. When I approached his birthday in my usual spontaneous style, he got very upset. It got even worse, when I forgot all about our first anniversary and could not work out what was going on when he turned up with flowers and a gift. But I learned my lesson quickly. After all, it was not that hard going out of my way a few times a year and getting really organized for a change.

He was having a hard time staying in the moment while we were together and found it difficult not to arrange business meetings, make plans for the week ahead and have lunch with me all at the same time. But as I got increasingly annoyed, he gradually learned to be there with me and apologize beforehand if some business conversations were unavoidable.

We were so different and yet, we did not have any major disagreements. We both accepted each other for who we were and did not try to change the other person. He needed action and I needed quiet time, but there was a lot of trust between us, so we were happy to spend time apart, each doing our own thing.

When we had a baby, our differences worked for us once again. My husband worked in his business as hard as ever to make a living, while I gratefully slipped into motherhood, only taking on occasional jobs more for personal satisfaction than out of necessity to make money.

Being a parent has changed my husband a lot. At first, he used to get frustrated with being so out of control, but eventually he had to accept that he could not do as much as before with a baby in tow. Little by little, he has become much more relaxed and often forgets all about time while playing with our son.

Unfortunately, I could not adopt any of my husband's admirable habits. Government rebates in my name still remain unclaimed and parcels stay at the post office until the last notice. If anything, I am now more laid back than ever, knowing that there is always someone there for me to back me up.

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