by Kevin Bahler

Created on: August 08, 2008   Last Updated: August 20, 2008

Faults. Everybody has them, but nobody thinks they do. Faults are never good things, but we tend to hold onto them pretty tightly. One of my big faults is finishing other people's sentences. I have experienced a number of different methods for confronting this problem and found they had very different results.

Explosion
When you hold in how you feel for too long, you will explode. One day, my girlfriend asked if I would pass the, so I said ketchup. She finally exploded on me, shouting as loud as she could how annoying it was when I finished her sentences and how it has bothered her all the time. She had never told me before, so I never knew it was a problem. If you have an issue, let your man know it.

Imitation
A different girlfriend, after some time of me finishing her sentences, started doing it to me. She thought I would see how annoying it was and would stop it. Unfortunately, I thought she took up the habit because she liked it too. After a week or so, she finally exploded on me. Imitation is just a passive-aggressive way to bottle things in. Again, if you have a problem, just talk about it.

Accusation
Men are inherently competitive. That is the main reason why confronting them about their faults is so tricky. However, a guaranteed way to put a man on the defensive is to start accusing him and to use the accompanying tone of voice. One day, I was interrupted from reading my e-mail because I had a finger thrust in my face and a stern woman saying, "You finish people's sentences and it annoys everybody." I am a pretty laid-back guy, but even still my first thought was to tell her that she was dead wrong and making a big deal out of nothing. Even though I bit my tongue, it was obvious that a big fight was very close to breaking out.

Discussion
I don't know about other people, but I am a mature, adult human being and I like being talked to as such. When somebody has a problem, I do want to know, but I don't want to be attacked. Women, if you don't know why your man would do something that is so annoying, try asking him. I had this discussion with my wife back when we were dating.

"How come you finish other people's sentences?" Because I know what people are trying to say and want to help them. I also think it is a fun game to play. "Do you think that other people get bothered by it?" I don't think so. If I notice them getting agitated, I will apologize and try to back off. "Well, I get bothered when you do it a lot. You'll do it even when there isn't a break in the conversation and that throws off my train of thought." OK, dear. I'm sorry I was doing that. I'll try to hold it back in the future,

I know this sounds very dry and formal, but it works for me. There is nothing accusatory or inflammatory in it. We are both calm and collected and it prevents massive fights that are totally avoidable. I respect my wife for respecting my intelligence and integrity, so I respect her effort by listening to her, considering what she has to say, and fixing my faults.

Learn more about this author, Kevin Bahler.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.