by Renda Ashley

Created on: August 08, 2008   Last Updated: August 17, 2008

"Get out of here! You're pulling my leg! What do you mean there are other places to live other than Texas?"

"Well. There goes that relationship." I realized.

How could I date someone who would set his sights so low? Sure, you might be able to live in a card board box too, but why would you want to? I was in college before I realized these kind of people existed. It was then that I realized I needed to have a type of criteria-a standard to hold my potential boyfriend to. I needed to get serious about what I wanted in a husband- to- be. It was time for some serious introspection. So, I made up this questionnaire for each of my potential dates to fill out.

1) If the Spurs and any other team in the world were playing which team was he cheering for-Dallas Mavericks and/or Houston Rockets excluded.

2) Did he own a Stetson or a Resistol cowboy hat? How did he look in it?

3) When referring to soft drinks did he call them "pop" or did he do the Texas thing and call all soft drinks "cokes".
("What kind of Coke do you want? Root Beer, or Dr. Pepper?")

4) Was he a real Texan? Or did he do that irritating thing that every Texan who has ever lived hates? Does he say,
"You all", trying to sound like a Texan?

5) Did he know that Texas is the only state in the Union that still has the right to secede?

6) What was his special ingredient in chili (in case you are asked to participate in a chili cook-off.) I didn't know the answer to this one but I did learn some family secrets.

Don't get me wrong. I am still nice to the guys who aren't true Texans- after all; we are the "Friendly State." But there is only so much I can do. Do I really want the father of my children teaching my kids that the way to settle a fight is sit down and "talk about their feelings?' And what if little Jimmy George came home one day and wanted to (dare I say it) become a "Yankee?" I had to nip this whole thing in the bud, before it got out of hand.
It has been said of Texas that we are just Americans on steroids. That is just silly! Just because we know what we want and we go after it SO JUST GET OUT OF OUR WAY! Does not mean that we are overly aggressive. In fact we can be down right patient and laid-back. Just the other day I went to a diner and the waitress was from somewhere up north. She asked me what kind of soda I wanted. Did I rant and rave or throw a fit? NO! I realized she was underprivileged coming from another state and all, and I compassionately explained that the kind of Coke I wanted was a Dr. Pepper.

Eventually,

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