by Marsha Sigman

Created on: August 08, 2008

There are two aspects of relationships that are non-negotiable. I say only two because the key phrase here is non-negotiable. The very core of a healthy relationship is compromise so almost everything must be up for negotiation at some point.

When you become involved in a relationship it's a merger of sorts. You become a separate entity as a couple. Two parts that form a whole while somehow maintaining your individual identity as well.

The two aspects that are non-negotiable for me have stayed the same but have become somewhat warped and twisted with time. Where once absolute, I have now added amendments. This is what keeps a long term relationship healthy. It is my own Constitution of Relationships.

Honesty
Everyone says the same thing. You must have honesty in all relationships for it to truly work. I agree only to a certain point. The reality of this is you must know when to be honest in a relationship and when not to be. If we were really truthful with ourselves we would admit that there are times in our relationships when honesty is the last thing we want.

I caught my husband looking at another woman when we went out to dinner last week. I asked him what he thought he was doing and did he like what he saw.
His reply was "I was thinking how nice that outfit would look on you". I am sure this was not an honest reply, the fact that he was laughing when he said it might have been a hint. It was still a great funny response and I loved it. I even plan to use it myself if he ever catches me looking. Window-shopping is harmless if you do not intend to buy.

Humor
This is a must in all relationships. It can be your saving grace and your comfort when times are hard. If you are lucky enough to find someone that shares your sense of humor then you can be sure to have a long, healthy and very fulfilled relationship. It's easy to find the humor when times are good, but the real test is finding the humor in the bad times.

When you are struggling to make house payments, your boss is a Nazi, your TV just blew up before the season finale of America's Next Top Model and your husband manages to make you laugh through that then he is a god and you may have already reached heaven. At least you will feel that way for a little while.

If you can manage to keep these two things non-negotiable, then your relationship will not only be healthy but interesting and fun.

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