by AuthorsLegacy

Created on: August 08, 2008   Last Updated: August 20, 2008

Love can only carry you so far. There comes a point when you have to look at the larger picture and wonder what's going to become of the situation. You have to dig within yourself and decide if it's even worth it anymore...do you have any fight left in you. When the day comes that you can no longer look at yourself in the mirror...or look your children in the eyes...it's time to walk away. I'm telling you this because I've been there - I had to make a choice that will follow me the rest of my life. I will look over my shoulder every day in fear. This is my life...

Summer 1995...I was a single mother of two boys and I worked full time. Dating someone never crossed my mind, I had other priorities. But, there was something about him. I decided it would be nice to have someone to share my time with. By fall, he moved in and by Christmas, I was pregnant. Everything seemed perfect - looking back, maybe a little too perfect. In August 1996, we welcomed our daughter. My family seemed complete...the way every girl dreams. I had the perfect guy, had the perfect children, had a great job. That's the key word - HAD! Two weeks after the birth, he quit his job. This left us with one option. I had to return to work. My doctor was against it, but I had no choice. It was hard leaving my kids every night. My first week back to work, I got a phone call. Something was wrong with the baby...my heart dropped! I rushed home and my beautiful bundle of joy was a smokey shade of grey and she just cried. My boys were in their room with the door shut...I thought nothing of it. If I would have known then what I know now, maybe I could have changed everything. October 1996, I walked into the hospital and told them I was not leaving until they told me what was wrong with my baby. The response hit me like a ton of bricks...my daughter had 19 broken bones! It was abuse, although they couldn't prove it. I knew in my head he did it - my heart just wouldn't let me believe it. Ultimately, I gave her up for adoption. I knew that I couldn't protect her anymore. It breaks my heart...but, I go on.

Let's fast forward 4 years...I recovered from kidney cancer surgery and was able to go back to work. It was the week before Thanksgiving and I learned that my husband was having an affair with my aunt. My heart felt like it was beaten with a sledge hammer! Not only was I betrayed by him - I was betrayed by my family. The confrontation became extremely violent and he ended up shoving a gun in my chest. I don't

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