by Kristin Castle

Created on: August 08, 2008   Last Updated: August 20, 2008

I found him just after I found myself. At 25 years old, I was beaming with happiness, strength and positivity. I had survived a relationship war that would have left a weaker woman curled up on the floor wallowing in despair. I reflected, briefly, on lessons learned; forgiveness is not always possible, changing someone is never an option and love is not enough. I wasted no time letting that which did not kill me make me stronger!

I first laid eyes on him in a picture. He was fresh out of the shower wearing only a towel, a beautiful smile and that enchanting little dimple that still melts me. We would meet, and he would be everything I was not prepared for; sweet, thoughtful and intelligent. He stole my heart with a 50 year old bottle of wine that he had once told me he was saving for something special and would crack open one night before seeing me off on a trip. It was incredibly romantic and the most disgusting wine either of us had ever tasted.

I would soon learn that he is the polar opposite of who I am and everything I believe in. He lives to work, I work to live. He takes everything personally, I take very little seriously. He makes lots of money and watches every penny, I make very little and spend frivolously. He is intolerant and edgy, I am pretty damn patient. He is his own worst enemy. He works too hard but my father tells me I can't fault him for that. I don't. But his happiness is often defined by his work, and I resent that.

I was certain he needed me. I was not in this to change him. That would be a rookie mistake. I wanted to help him for him, not for me. I knew everything happens for a reason and this was a plan that was written in the stars.

I am, by nature, more sensitive to the feelings of others than I am to my own, especially the man I love. So merely sensing his inner conflicts leaves me dizzy at times. I spent the first few years biting my tongue and hoping to lead by example. "Just watch me" I would only telepathically suggest- "It really is harder to be miserable than it is to be happy."

It is nearly six years and two children later. We are not married as he is the obviously scarred victim of four older brothers and his parent divorce. I don't push marriage. I know that he loves me and you can't push an intolerant pessimist!

I have stopped biting my tongue however. That approach was simply not working and has weakened my once steadfast patience!

-Focus on whatever happened yesterday that had you feeling like you were on top of the world

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