by Renda Ashley

Created on: August 07, 2008   Last Updated: September 05, 2008

Why are we are constantly told that sharing a family meal is important? One reason is that we are creating memories. The more memories we can create with our children the less likely he or she is to hang out with the wrong crowd.

Screaming and giggling, seven preteen little girls rushed to the mirror, all of them talking over each other.

"How do my sunglasses look?" shouted one of the girls.

"What about my Hannah Montana wig?" another asked to no one in particular?

I thought of the Princess Birthday Party, The Cheerleading Birthday party, the Aloha Birthday Party and the slumber parties. With my heart squeezing, I realized that the window of opportunity to spend time with my daughter was closing. How many more parties will I be a part of?

My 12 year old daughter and 5 of her friends primped, makeup clouding the room and hairspray choking them out of their bedroom. They were about to explode with excitement - the limousine was arriving to pick them up in just one hour. 6:00 arrived and 6 little pop stars emerged all antsy with anticipation. This year we were having a Pop Star party.
They each peeked behind the curtains trying to be the first to catch a glimpse of the evening's transportation. Then the screaming started. They saw the limousine pulling up in front of our house.

Their huge eyes sparkled with excitement, as the driver opened the door for each one. He then made certain that each of his passengers was safe inside. On this night I knew that each girl felt special. This was much more than a limo ride for a bunch of tween and teenage girls dressed up like pop stars. It was about how special one little girl felt on her birthday. . . How a special evening helped me to make a memory with my daughter. Memories that she and I will always have.

You don't need to spend a lot of money to create memories. You have to spend a lot of TIME. In my experience it is much harder to spend time than money. What do you purchase with your time? Are you focusing on your children? Or, like I so often do, are you focusing on the so-called "urgent" things in life (As apposed to the important things in life.) When my children were newly born I was advised, quite bluntly, "To get off of the phone and focus on my children." I was also told," When you are in the car, or at home stay off of the phone and give your children your undivided attention. If you must be on the phone (i.e. you make your living by using the phone; have allotted times everyday, which you give your children your complete attention.)

I just learned today, that a couple of girls from a nearby town disappeared after crawling out of their bedroom window. They were excited to meet a "friend" they had made on-line. Their parents didn't learn of the girls activities until it was too late. It's not always possible to know everything your children are doing and every person they are talking to.

It's a lot easier to know who they are with and what they are doing, if you spend time, a lot of time with them. It's hard to know someone you don't spend time with. It's also hard to be comfortable with someone you have shared little with, like memories.

We only have our children for a short time. Every year we are closer to running out of time with them. Am I afraid of my daughter hanging out with the wrong crowd, or even friends that don't have her best interest at heart? YOU BET! But every time I make a deposit into the "memory fund" I am making an investment. I am making an investment that will tip the odds in her favor of making the right decisions. Including the kind of people she feels comfortable hanging out with.

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