by Julia Beirut

Created on: August 07, 2008   Last Updated: August 20, 2008

Work up the courage to ask a guy about his plans for his future and he will probably tell you the truth. Guys don't lie about the very important aspects of their life. So ask your guy about his agenda for your relationship and for his romantic life overall. Start the conversation at a time when you are both relaxed and have time for an in-depth conversation. This won't be an easy conversation and it probably won't be brief; however, when you are done talking you will probably have the information you need to know whether you have a just for fun relationship or if it is safe to let your emotions get involved and hope the relationship will become permanent.

I learned in my early 20s that guys are very open about their future when asked about it. I once had a friend being nagged at lunch about his girlfriend. When asked if he would marry her he said "Not her!" Then years later we were hanging at lunch and he made some comment about how in Europe many men don't marry until after 40 and he thought that was the way to do it.

It seemed very clear he had an agenda for his love life. I doubt the girls he dated knew it or the relationships wouldn't last long. Who wants to date someone in their 20s who is quite adamant he won't marry until after age 40? That's an awfully long wait for a walk down the matrimonial aisle.

It is also important to listen carefully to what your guy is saying. Does he make jokes about how about 50% of marriages in America end in divorce? Perhaps he is afraid of marriage or just doesn't see the point of it. Communication is key in understanding your guy. Ask him what he thinks of the divorce statistic. Start a conversation to discuss your opinions on marriage. The guy who made jokes about divorce to me also eventually cheated on me; he later married someone and then divorced.

Many people seem to feel that if a relationship has lasted 2 years it is about time to start talking about an engagement. An easy way to find out where you stand with your man is to ask him how long you think a couple should date before a proposal.

Communication about important issues is crucial to a healthy relationship. Don't just brood and wonder about the future; talk to your man and get the facts about where your relationship is headed. Often it is hard to plan one's life when the romantic aspect of life is very unsettled. If you have reached the stage where you need concrete information about if the relationship is serious or not then don't just act wistful and long to

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