by Jeff Gulley

Created on: August 07, 2008   Last Updated: August 20, 2008

Love is a funny thing. It can arrive without warning, it's never there when you want it most, and it can make you cry when you otherwise feel so good. Love is also a powerful force which can do what even the most gifted scientist cannot: successfully mix oil and water. In personal relationships, Type A personalities (the "up-and-at-'em" people) and Type B personalities (the "I'll do it later") usually don't end up on each others' Christmas lists. However, from time to time, these two personality types can fall hopelessly in love with each other.

And believe me, it can feel hopeless sometimes.

Enter stage right, Type A: driven, organized, and involved; the part of Type A will be played by me. Enter stage left, Type B: relaxed, easy-going, and generally fun to be around; the part of Type B will be played by my common-law wife Nikola. We've lived together for two years now, and have devoted our lives to each other.

Act I (in the front hallway, preparing to leave):
Me: Hey sweetie, are you almost ready to go?
Nikola: I'm all ready, just waiting on you.
Me: You sure?
Nikola (exhasperated): YES!
Me: Okay, let's go then.
After two steps...
Nikola: Hmm, just wait a second baby, okay?
Me: Why?
Nikola ignores question, walks over to mirror to double check hair, etc.

Act II (at the front door):
Me: Are you sure you have everything?
Nikola: Yep, let's go.
We walk to the car and get in. I start the car and begin pulling out of the driveway...
Nikola: Wait, I forgot my sunglasses!
Me: *sigh*

Okay, you get the picture. Type A/Type B relationships can definitely be heavy on drama. However, the important thing is to turn that drama into comedy, because situations where both parties are not on the same page are very common in a Type A/Type B relationship.

The important element to make such a relationship work is patience. What seems so natural to a Type A might not be as inherently easy to a Type B (or vice versa), therefore it is essential that both sides exhibit patience with each other. While this is sometimes easier said than done, the rewards of that patience are worth it. First of all, by being patient with your partner, you are showing them that you are willing to understand them at a level deeper than the surface - it's as though you know something better is underneath all the fussing and disagreements, and you're willing to wait for it. Partners who truly love and know each other will sense when the other is being patient, and will love, or at least appreciate, each other more for it. This is definitely the secret of success in my relationship with Nikola. That, and a good sense of humour - I mean, if Cupid is going to have a laugh at your expense, why not join him?

We all live by the same natural laws. However, with people, sometimes opposites really do attract, even though science has to contend with forever opposite magnetic poles. In a sense, there is something poetic about oil and water mixing in a relationship. It is an affirmation that Love is something grander than even the natural physical laws of the universe. For me, and I'm sure for others out there, a Type A/Type B relationship is just that kind of beautiful anomaly.

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