by Beth Dobbs

Created on: August 07, 2008

"Dog Days"

My name is Issak, Issak Moore. I am a professional slacker. Ahead of my time, really. Most Masters are, as yet, unable to appreciate the truly artistic aspect of my line of work. No, not work-never work.

Skeptical? Most pups, like yourself, are very hesitant to believe that even a Master lives truly without work, but I swear in the name of the First Litter that I do.

Still, I'll tell you how to do it, even if you're just a Pup. You must be special; if you weren't, you'd never be allowed to talk to me. Most pups can't decipher a word of the ancient bark. Yes, I'll tell you. What was your name again? Dana. Of course. I knew that.

You see, dearest Dana-clever alliteration, yes?-you see, even though the Workers believe themselves to be superior to everyone, it is we, the Masters, who control this world.

Are we the smartest of the Masters? A difficult question, because there are so many species of us. Yes, I suppose we exert the most complete control over our Workers. Since I have come to this residence, even the most impudent and superior of the Workers have bowed to my will. Don't deny it; it is the truth.

Professional slacking, yes, I was just getting to that. First off, you must endure brief periods of hunger until your Worker or Workers fetch you food. It is rather miserable, but if you cave in and get it for yourself, they will never learn proper caretaking skills. Responsibility, Dana, responsibility.

Next, try-though it is the hardest to resist-try to ignore the Workers when they wish you to play with them. It only leads to laziness. The more they play, the less work is accomplished. That is the hardest thing. They always seem so hopeful for attention.

Last, do not get up unless you need to wash or make use of the facilities-if you catch my drift. In addition, make it known that it is their job to wash you. Never lift a finger to that end. To the contrary, get as dirty as possible whenever possible.

Oh, yes, and always praise a Worker if they do something outstanding or make some sort of special effort. It keeps them happy.

I do believe that covers the basics. You'll simply have to learn the rest on your own. No amount of education can compete with first-hand experience. Use your knowledge for good, dearest Dana. And, before you go, could you scratch behind my ears for me? I think I'm getting fleas.

THE END

This is an older one written when I was in high school, but I still come back to it and end up enjoying it. Hopefully you will feel the same way.

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