by Nolan Hamilton

Created on: August 07, 2008   Last Updated: October 30, 2010

This is a question that most women cannot find the answer to, probably never will and will try endlessly to mold the lesser thans into what they think is perfect. First things first, you will never find the perfect man in a bar or a club. That is where we are farthest from our true identities and we can only keep that charade up for so long. Most men go to a bar or club looking to get away from the stress of everyday and be someone else for a while and if that means telling a little white lie or two to advance the objective(s) then so be it. Most of us guys know that the women we meet in these arenas are good for the short term and not for long term relationship investments, If we found you there then who's to say that you won't be back next week looking for something better, the same can be said for your opinion of us in that situation. You will always have doubt about that person in their fidelity.

The sad thing is that most good men take some serious looking for, we aren't out there in the spotlight or in plain sight. We are usually involved in our work, or hobbies and hope that some perfect woman happens to come through those situations. In today's dating hysteria its tough to really pin someones personality down in a short time. A good man is going to try to find perfection in the every day routine he has, the cute bank teller, the cashier at the grocery, the secretary he talks to a couple times a week on business calls, you get the picture. We are not into throwing the hail Mary, we would rather make the safe ten yard out pass all the way down the field. It may take longer but you get the excitement of the successes. We enjoy the innocent chase, the subtle flirting, and the butterflies when you come around, because we know that if we are experiencing these emotions you might be the one.

If you meet someone in a bar or a club then you can expect that that is where they spend a fair amount of their time so you have to be willing to share this lifestyle with the person and all of the emotions that come with it. There is nothing wrong with this sort of thing unless you just happened to drop in on a whim with your friends and its not your normal pattern. You can't change people, you will only destroy yourself trying. Wherever you meet this person should be somewhere general, where most of us have our guard down and our charm on about a five, normal. You want to know the even keel of the person, not how they are cranked up on energy drinks and vodka, it gives you the ability to ease into a relationship. You can learn so much about a guy based on his patterns, how organized he is, his employment regiments, his spending habits, the way he takes care of himself, etc... Its not just about a pretty face and body, that fades in time but the attitudes and personality last a lifetime.

So ladies, look for that hidden gem in your everyday routines, in the non obvious places or even right in front of you. Mr. Right is a lot more elusive than Mr. Right-Now, but well worth the hunt.

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