by Missy Bell

Created on: August 07, 2008

Inheritance

Warm fall air
Sleep like
Sitting in the mausoleum
The dead all around us
Us in the center
In the church
Staring at the closed casket
Covered in the stars and stripes
Tears flowing down my aunt's cheeks
Like rain
Hitting the blacktop and
Steaming off
In billows of desolation
Almost mockery
That he is gone, and we are there
Final notes of taps ring out
I feel the salty sweat stinging my face

My father is crying
My brother is stone faced
Until we get to the car
And we have to leave the casket
And then it all comes out
And his head is hitting the window
Repeatedly
And we can't get him to stop crying

Dinner at the church
Old ladies whipping together
Scalloped potatoes and ham
Pretending it isn't a sad occasion
Us pretending too
Talking
Trying to avoid talking about him
Not wanting to watch each other cry

Going through the house
Trying to forget the memories
And just get rid of the junk
Piled in boxes from the attic
Old photographs that you knew
Meant something to him
But that we just didn't have room for
We were going to have to sell the house

The house of Easter egg hunts
And Christmas surprises
And hugs
And games of War
And 21
And learning to count by fives
And they threw out the playing cards
And all of the Christmas decorations
And almost a photograph
But I asked for it
Even though I didn't know who it was of
The rest
Went with my uncle
To the flea market
To be sold for pittance
And we all pretended that that was okay

The furniture
Dining room set
Bedroom set
Stereo
Random chair
We got them
For our apartments
Everyone said that
That's what he would have wanted
Piled into a moving truck
Hauled into the house
Scratched a little on the doorframe
But we were oh so careful

Lying in bed
Looking at the mirror
And my reflection in it
Thinking about
How many times
He must have done
The very same thing
And about him
Watching me lying there
And maybe smiling
And maybe happy about my choices
And sad he had to miss my wedding
And me looking pretty in my
Champagne wedding dress
And the candles burning all around us
And the kiss at the end
And seeing me drive away
To my honeymoon
And eventually
To my new house
And my not so new furniture.

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