by Kevin Bahler

Created on: August 07, 2008   Last Updated: August 20, 2008

I have always been on the heavy side. My wife has always been beautiful, but a little self-conscious. The best thing we ever did was start working out together. It all started when we were talking about how out of shape we were. I suggested we go exercise together. It started with taking long walks together. Eventually, the walks turned into runs and the runs led to bike rides and other exercises.

The system works out great for us. If I'm feeling lazy, then my wife uses either guilt or force to get me out of the house. I will do the same thing for her when she feels lazy. When we are working out, we push each other to go further. Neither one of us wants to be the first person to stop running, so we both do as much as our bodies will let us, which is a definite plus.

Fortunately, we are both young enough that we have not had to deal with any serious illnesses yet. And with all of the running we do, we shouldn't have to for a long while. However, I do recognize that it is something we will have to deal with eventually. I can't say for certain what we will do, but I can guess what we should do from looking at how we deal with minor health issues.

When one of us gets sick with a nasty cold or the flu, the last thing we want is somebody hovering over us. For the first day or two, when we are experiencing the worst of it, we want to be alone. We don't want food, company, conversation, or anything. We lie in bed alone. My wife sleeps through the day and I watch TV until I fall asleep through the day. The only time we spend together is once or twice a day. Whichever one is healthy will come to the other and give one sincere, sympathetic hug.

During something like flu, what we do to show that we care is take care of the house. Cleaning, tidying, getting groceries, paying bills; whatever has to be done, we get done. We let the sick person rest and get better.

We do not always use that method to deal with health problems, though. Last year, I fell off a ladder while doing some house work. It wasn't serious, but my ankle did swell up for a few days. I was more angry at myself for letting such a stupid thing happen to me, and for getting hurt while I was only on the second rung. That night, we sat on the couch and she held me. She told me that it wasn't my fault, that it was no big deal, and that everybody has done something stupid like that at one time or another. By the end of the night, I didn't feel pain and I didn't feel angry either.

I realize that there are two kinds of illnesses: those of the body and those of the spirit. They are very different and require different treatment. For my wife and me, illnesses of the body sap all of the energy from us. The only thing we can do is rest and it is the best thing for us. When our spirits are ill, we need company. We need the comfort and reassurance of others that we will recover.

The physical and spiritual illnesses always go hand-in-hand. When my wife gets the flu and wants to be alone, she doesn't always want to feel alone. That's why that one hug per day matters. Similarly, when my ankle swelled up, I needed my wife to hold me, but I also needed ice and rest to fully heal.

If the time comes that either my wife or I become seriously ill, I trust that I have learned enough to handle it well. We will do everything together when we can. We will let the body heal itself, but we will help the spirit recover.

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