by Josiah King

Created on: August 07, 2008   Last Updated: August 20, 2008

Being negative can be a great thing, if your a battery, or magnet. This certainly does not ring true though when speaking about negativity in a relationship. We have heard it said that stick and stones may break our bones, but words will never hurt us. However, that saying may not be accurate at all. In recent years there have been discoveries made in science that would say otherwise.

You may or may not be familiar with the studies of a Japanese scientist by the name of Dr. Masaru Emoto. He conducted studies on water and the effects words had on them. What he discovered was eye-opening to the scientific community and others in the world. He discovered that when water was continually exposed to positive words of, Love and Gratitude, and then photographed, the ice crystals they formed made beautiful patterns. Also, music such as Mozart, produced the same effects. However, words like "you make me sick" said to other containers of water and photographed while forming ice crystals produced mottled and asymmetrical crystals.

These discoveries to me were not surprising, as I grew up in the Christian faith and remember the Bible saying that the tongue had the power of life and death; both blessings and cursing was possible from the tongue. By tongue, it refers to the words we say, though I suppose licking people could also mean life or death for you, depending on who you do it to. But in all seriousness, I have seen the effects of negative words both in my life and the life of my wife. Sometimes, from others and sometimes from each other. In all cases it never produced anything good.

Case in point: I have a tendency to be overly attentive to details and can sometimes nag my wife with all the things I notice about her driving. Bad idea, I know, but I am human and make dumb decisions like the rest of mankind. This never leads to my wife being happier, but instead makes her irritated. Sometimes she will even verbally express her frustration to me about what I am doing, which, also tends to be negative.

Before you start thinking I am a jerk, I would remind you of the fact that I threw myself under the train and not my wife. But I digress.

The point I was trying was that negative words tend to breed negative words, and I have found the opposite to be true. Positive words tend to breed positive words. But, I will get to that in a moment.

For now, I want to point out some ways that negative words can affect your relationship. Things like feelings of irritation and frustration

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