by Josiah King

Created on: August 07, 2008   Last Updated: August 20, 2008

Oh, how I wish I could say that I am speaking from a place of having no family differences. But, I suppose I would be delusional to believe that. Let's face it, when it comes to family, it's never perfect. Especially when speaking of family through marriage. I will give you an example from my own life.

My wife and I currently have roles that perhaps society, and certainly her family, would call abnormal. She works in an office, and I am the one working from home. What's more, at the current time my wife tends to be the one bringing home the money. Now, before you start thinking dead beat allow me to tell you what I do. I currently have a business that I am trying to develop, as well as an initiative to help raise awareness and support for Israel and the Jewish people, plus trying to develop my name as an author. I also have a degree in Business Management, and enjoy working for myself.

But this is a big problem to my wife's family. Namely her step-mother and father, and her grandfather. Who have called me all sorts of things and said many hurtful things to both my wife and I about me. I have been accused of being a bad husband. I have been told to get with the program, get off my assets (not the actual word said) and get a real job. I have been accused of brain-washing my wife into providing for me so I can live my free-loading lifestyle. Her grandfather has outright called me stupid for trying to start the initiative to help in Israel, and suggested that I was foolish and wasted my time and money because I didn't go to a big name school like SMU, as he did.

My wife and I have a very open relationship in the sense of communication with each other. We respect each others views and concerns on the decisions we make in our life together. We have decided that we both were okay with this lifestyle, and support each other in it. Our decision has come with much resistance, as you read earlier.

After much discussion, thought and prayer, my wife and I concluded that we would have to establish our boundaries with these family members. And our first strategy was to simply address these matters with them and explain our decision that we both had come to with the hopes that they would understand and relent on their attacks. This worked for the case of her grandfather. After explaining to him that we loved him and wanted to spend more time with him, but not if he was going to belittle me or our decisions on how we live our life, he apologized and told us that if he did it

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