by Matt Dresner

Created on: August 07, 2008   Last Updated: April 24, 2012

I served in the US Army between September 1979 to September 1983, but most vets will tell you, that it doesn't matter, when you served, some things are universal. PT, bivouac, IG inspections, GI parties, off-limit areas (only after dark). Try to figure out the jargon by context. I will explain anything I think, you wouldn't understand. Remember the military is another world, and once you've done Basic Training, Boot, whatever the term is, civilians need a tip or two, to understand our sense of humor.

I was at a crossroads when I hit my senior year of high school. I was a prodigy in German, but at the time the offerings at our local community college were thin. I wanted to go to Germany, and when all the service recruiters administered the ASVAB test, I aced the areas that could make it happen within 2 years, and the US Army wrote a contract guaranteeing a MOS (Job Title), with a large bonus, and an assignment to Europe, all guaranteed, in writing.

I spent a year in Monterey, CA, learning Russian, doing well in school, 47 weeks of immersive, intensive language training, with access to language labs, around the clock. Then I hit a couple of snags when I hit the next step on the road to Germany.

Three days after I arrived in San Angelo, TX, men in dark suits informed me that I partied with the wrong people during my stay in the Bay Area, and that I could either be reclassified to another job, and lose my bonus, or fight it and see how I like Kansas (Ft Leavenworth).

FIGMO
When you receive your orders, you are officially a "short-timer," and you post a copy of your orders on your door, or wall locker, and write FIGMO across them. What's nice about an acronym like FIGMO, is that everyone can use it.
Finally, I got my orders. F* it, got my orders. Pagan or Christian, it just works.

The FIGMO covered up my new MOS, 71 Lima, Administrative Assistant, 30 days to get to Ft. Jackson, South Carolina. We used Amtrak, and Greyhound, and my friend lost a rare 1967 Gibson SG guitar in the process, but we made it to our unit, in time to get haircuts, because we were back to Basic Training.
We managed to pass the course, mostly typing on IBM Selectric IIs, and I jammed at one point at 80 wpm.

One night we were in an off-limits area, during the hours of darkness, and as I saw a nickel-plated Colt Model 1911A1, .45 cal pistol with a large MP connected to it, I immediately froze, and then stood there 2 days later, in front of my CO (Commanding Officer), "volunteering" to do the Commander of the Post's office, and not getting a letter, because it was extra duty. Then FIGMO . . .
Once you get to Germany, it all starts all over. Welcome to Rhein-Main Air Force Base, Frankfurt Germany. Stay tuned for Germany.

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