by Tinoy Mama

Created on: August 07, 2008

Just last weekend, my darling seven-year old son and husband were playing their beloved Nintendo Wii. I was sitting on the couch, watching them compete in a rowdy game of tennis. Back and forth they went, and my husband was gaining on my son. Just as my little angel was catching up to his dad, dad made a particularly good play, and my son stomped his foot and yelled, "what the f*!"

Let me add here that in our household foul language is simply not used. The word "stupid" is considered bad (yes, we're THAT kind of family) and the "f" word is not even in our stratosphere. Needless to say, after our son uttered the aforementioned phrase my husband paused the game and we both sat down as we picked our jaws off the floor. "What did you say, sweetheart?" My husband and I asked, with fervent hope that our aging ears had failed us. "I said, what the f*, mommy," my little boy said innocently.

In the two seconds my husband and I took to look at one another and signal "you talk! No-YOU talk," my son realized he had done something bad, though he didn't know exactly what. Tears streamed down his face as he asked, "Why are you mad?"

My husband and I really had to stop and think of what to say and do. This was a true parenting moment for us, and we didn't want to mess it up. So we sat our little kiddo down, and had a talk. We first asked him where he heard that phrase. As it turns out, he had heard it on a You Tube video that he had found all by himself (my son is a computer whiz, something which I had always thought was a good thing until that very moment). We realized we couldn't just ban the website from him. So we explained that the phrase he used, that one particular word, was a very grown-up word, which he is not to use until he is at least 18. Furthermore, we told him that should he ever hear that word on a You Tube video, he should turn that video off immediately. We made sure our son understood what we said, gave him hugs, told him we loved him, and continued playing the video game.

Later that day, I recalled the story to my mom and some friends. I was shocked to hear that they had thought we made too big a deal about the whole situation. They all said that he would have heard that word sooner or later, and that most likely, if we are going to allow him the normal social life of a boy, he will hear it again. From kids. Evidently we were "lucky" that he hadn't used foul language up until that point.

Thinking back, I suppose that it's true. This is a lesson that applies to many things when it comes to raising kids. It is impossible to protect our children from everything. If we threaten to ground them until they're dead for every mishap (innocent or not) they will be more likely to rebel. While my husband and I do not condone using any foul language, much less the "f" word, we fully expect to hear it from our son in the coming years, and we will know that our child is, if not perfect, at least normal.

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