by Christina Rivas

Created on: August 06, 2008

Helium article: Is marriage worth it?

When someone asks me this question, my reply is that without a doubt, absolutely yes. My husband and I met during my first year in high school. We have been together for 14 years this coming September, and married for three of those years.
By the time that we were ready to get married, we had a few friends that had already gotten married themselves. I knew when my husband and I started to date seriously, that I wanted to get married.

I felt that because our love for each other was already strong, having the bond of marriage would strengthen that bond further. I have always thought that when someone gives you their side of the story, you are only getting half of the story. And that half that you do get is usually missing a few pieces as well.
One friend told us he had gotten married because of an accidental pregnancy, in my opinion that was his first mistake. He said that his wife was always pushing him around and never let him out with his friends. We were not hearing that on her side, he never spent time with her and he was being irresponsible.
They divorced shortly after their child was born, and for them the experience of marriage was soured.
I knew that my husband and my situation was different from theirs, we were getting married because we loved each other and couldn't stand to stay apart. I decided to ask someone else with experience in the marriage department for their opinion.
I asked my mother, I have to say that she gave me some really good advice. She said to me "Christina, never hope for the perfect marriage, it doesn't exist."
My mother explained to me that no one is without flaws and as such, no marriage can be without flaws either. People often disagree with one another and sometimes those disagreements can turn into fights.
THAT'S NORMAL! Fighting is a normal way for us to relieve stress. The important thing to remember is not to let it get out of hand. We also have to understand that as long as a solution is found fighting to a certain extent is a normal part of relationships.
We cannot always agree with everything and that's okay too. Marriage is about making a commitment it is about loving someone for who they are despite their flaws. Marriage is about working together to solve your problems, and it's about sharing your burdens with one another.
Since my marriage to my husband I have learned many things, I have learned that I am special, as cheesy as that sounds. My parents always instilled in me that I am special and unique, but having my husband say those same things was a great way to have it confirmed.
My husband is my best friend. I know that he is always there to listen, even when he doesn't want to. I also know that I am his best friend, and the one person he knows he can always come to no matter what it's about.
It is for those reasons that I know my marriage is worth while. Every morning I wake up and he is the first thing I see in the morning. We also have two beautiful daughters that are the loves of our lives. They reconfirm our feelings of love for one another.
So absolutely yes, I do believe that marriage is worth it.

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